HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
i'm fucking sick still. i think it's from all this running about lately. and lack of sleep. i skipped my classes today to sleep. and i feel a bit better. not tip top for sure. tonight will suck cuz i want to drink but i probably shouldn't. bah humbug! anyway, a funny story. just goes to show how fucking small this world is. i used to chat with this random guy named paul who worked at EMI. we sorta just stopped chatting after awhile. but the today he messaged me! turns out he now works at astralwerks and when i sent an email to them asking about internships, that email got forwarded to paul! so he fucking messages me saying when he saw my resume he was laughing his ass off cuz he actually knows me! small fucking world huh? so basically if i want this internship i can have it. but do i? i'd miss my indie rock scene over at vagrant. but i'm also starting to tire of the place as well. what to do? what to do? hey! at least i'm not antsy like i was last night. oh man. that was sucking balls. i think it was cuz of meeting daniel. hells bells yo. as the rolling stones so aptly said "you can't always get what you want". tis true indeed. =(

deep tounging, nibbling, and locking lips for hours are on your agenda. you've been known to wear lovers out with your kiss, before getting to anything else on the menu. and given that you kiss so well... imagine how you do everything else.

not only is the pain a big rush, as you know, piercings are a great sexual enhancer. sure, you may not be able to get a job with your punctured face, but you will have incredible sex! kiss and suck away, but don't get your piercings locked with your lover's.

hmmm...i don't think that's really correct. the kissing one isn't right. the piercing one is right in that i really do dig piercing for myself and for a guy that i like. but i'm not sure if i want them in like really weird places if you know waht i mean. haha but whatever! some random guy messaged me cuz he saw my blog on the blogger, recently updated section. so he messaged me. he's gonna work for his friend's company in seattle called asterik studio. their site is pretty fuckin rad. i dig. this guy went to the art institute in chicago for graphics and photography. fuckin eh. i gotta go to an art institute for sure. some cool people seem to go to those places! =)

oh dear god i'm ansty!! what is this fucking world coming to? other than me swearing way too much today and eating some ice cream cake to help curve the antsiness! aaaaaaahhhhhhh!!! anyway, so about last night. who am i trying to kid? being all elusive and shit? might as well fucking blog this shit when i tell everyone anyway. so there is this boy named daniel. (yes, yes. *another* daniel in my life! if we dated he'd be my 3rd boyfriend named daniel!) and he messaged me randomly online a long while back. we spoke briefly that one time but i don't remember it. then awhile later he messaged me again. and we have been speaking since. he's 22, from all over the place, lives here in LA, works at a recording studio, and is in a band called this engine burns. he's cute too. anyway, so we had been chatting a lot and finally we met last night. we planned it out such that i would meet at his place and we'd go to this show and stuff. so i got home from class yesterday. got changed. went to his apt. it was sorta weird at first having met for the first time in person. but he was chill and his roommate was cool. jeremy is his name. they got the new grand theft auto vice city. so they were playing it and i was watching. cuz im no gamer. then daniel and i went to this place called the dragonfly. it's this tiny club/venue where this band called run, run, run was playing. daniel knows them and does their lighting at shows as a favor. so we got there early while the other band, plexi, was setting up. then run, run, run came and daniel set up their shit. then we went to get food before the show started. we went to this small hole in the wall mexican place. good shit. this is when we talked the most. cuz we talked in the car and all that stuff, but when we were eating i got to ask him all about his family and shit like that. very interesting. after that we had time to kill so we went to aron's records. turns out his friend just started working there. so browsed the aisles and then went to the show. i met the guys in the band. the bassist, jeremy, gave me this strange vibe. he's 23 but he looks older. he said he'd do his 3 stances for me during the show. so i watched. he did the stances. the band was decent. when they finished he came over and hugged me and asked if i saw his stances. then he smelled my hair was like, "pantene?" haha weird! daniel helped them pack up their shit and took it to his car. i was standing outside but then felt vulnerable with the bums there so jeremy pulled me back in. so i stood near their merch table and this guy started talking to me. i then quickly realized that he was chatting me up! but it didn't matter cuz the lead singer of the band, zandor, came over and said, "your hot date is waiting outside around the corner. be safe. don't let the bums get to ya. thanks for coming. nice to meet you." then i just said goodbye to him, left the other guy hanging, and ran out the door to daniel's car. we went to his work to return his stuff and then went back to his apt. his other roommate, brandon, was home, so i got to meet him. i also got to talk more with jeremy. he's a cinema kid. anyway, they played some more of the game. i watched. nearly fell asleep a few times. i almost just spent the night. cuz it was like 3am and i was really really tired. but then i decided i should leave. so daniel walked me to my car where we talked some more. then we hugged and i left. and that was it! but man o man was it refreshing. omg. new places. new people. new things to do. it's not like we did anything super cool. but it was just all DIFFERENT. cuz i'm getting sick of all the monotany of my life. i hate my classes and the people in them for the most part. i hate how we always go and do the same thing. we drink and party and we see the same people and go to the same places. going out with daniel was fun. fresh. different. i loved it. not to mention i think he's cute and would like to date him. but nevermind that. it was just different. anyway, so yeah. that was my night. and now i am still antsy. and of course i wish i could get with daniel. i know it won't happen. he's always so busy. he has no time for a gf. he doesn't even really want one. so yeah. poop for that. but yay for new and refreshing adventures! =)

oh my god. tonight was utterly refreshing. almost like driving to oregon! it was just what i needed. i feel great. =) even if it is 3:30am and i nearly fell asleep at an unfamiliar place.

i felt like driving away again. i went to the gyno and all was well. and on my way to the costume store, i got really close to the hollywood hills because i took surface streets. as i got closer to the hills i started thinking about when i drove to oregon on a whim and great that felt. how free i felt. and at that moment, i really just wanted to drive away. completely leave again. i know i can't because i have school. but man did i want to. of course now i'm back at my fucking computer writing this all down instead of just doing it. but it's not like i can really just pick up and go. but feelings like this really do let me know that i desperately need out of LA. i cannot stay here any longer. once i graduate i MUST leave. i'm so sick of this city and i really just want to get away. and if i do end up working at some web design / graphics firm, it really doesn't have to be in LA. so this might be the big old goodbye to LA forever. as a place to live that is. i think when i first came here i had all these hopes of the film industry. and once those faded and turned into the music industry, it was me still clinging to that whole cool, hip, scenster notion. wanting to live the indie rock life somehow by working at a label. these ideas aren't so ideal anymore. i just want to be happy. and if i wake up thinking how much i hate the city i live in, then really i shouldn't be living here. right? anyway, enough of that. i scrapped the photo booth costume for good which saddens me and lawrence as well. i gave up quickly once i felt the box wasn't going to be sturdy enough. and of course there is that whole cumbersome issue with walking around inside a box! anyway, i have rediscovered two albums recently. south - from here on in and starsailor - love is here. some good shit. here are the lyrics to a great song:

from here on in
- south

it's a sold life
sun rise on the back of an old life
borrowed the style if the time's right
cut all the ties in your foresight
you're only slaving in your own mind

but still life makes your heart

it's a cold life
died in the back of a landslide
caught in the web swallowed your pride
if your not certain then don't dive
the corner your eyes the sunrise

i've lost more inside than the spirit that's died
in my state of mind what i've got to decide (rely on)
here on in

controlled types
types that lay back and pay no mind
constantly burning their own kind
it means more to me than to stay and fight
i've lost more like that than i care to right

i've lost more inside than the spirit that's died
in my state of mind what i've got to decide (rely on)
here on in

i'm about to go to the gyno today. finally! after lots of rescheduling. good god. i can't help but think about the last time i went to the gyno. that was the day dan called me from kansas on my cell phone just as i had left the gyno. it made me SOOOOOOOO happy. and now here i sit, always grumbling about this damned boy. i was thinking about our "friendship" and how i am always saying how dissatisfied with it lately because i feel like we aren't really friends anymore and just acquaintances. and then this morning in the shower something occurred to me. is this all because our friendship for the past 3 years has been based on our attraction?? were we never truely friends but merely feigning the friendship to disguise our feelings for each other? this thought sorta saddens me. but if it is true, it reasons out why we aren't really friends anymore. because we've come full circle. been through just about every stage of like and dislike and now we are back to the starting point. only this time the start line doesn't have us both there because we aren't playing the same game. goodness. can this be true? i hope not. but i fear it may be. if i said this to dan he might agree. or he might totally discount it and say that i'm always bothering about our friendship and how i expect more than i used to. but i don't think that is the case. because when i think of friends, i think of people who i can easily call up and not worry about them saying i am taking up too much of their time. i think of people who willfully call me on their own gumption to do things. i think of people who i see on a regular basis. (of course making exceptions for those friends who don't live near me.) and these are all things that i feel used to be present in my friendship with dan but have since disappeared nearly entirely.

i got out of work early. william let me leave early cuz it was slow. so i left with kyla. but we worked with steven for a bit. ooh la la. he's hot. he wouldn't tell us how old he is though! i think it's cuz he's younger than us. but who cares. he's hot. i like his muscles even though that's not my usual type. he's got nice eyes too. unruly eyebrows but nice eyes. he asked about partying around here and i told him about our website. so now he can check it for upcoming parties. maybe we'll see him at some random party. that would be lovely! anyway, it was a pretty chill night. a few spurts of long lines but that was not too bad. "sleepy ian" came in and i bugged him about how he's ALWAYS there! like whenever i work he's there. whenever i walk by, he's there! he said i was giving him a complex. haha and dan's ex, julia came in and asked me if i saw the movie he was in for her where he had to pretend to have sex with her old roommate. i was like, "nope. didn't see it." and thinking to myself, "cuz dan never fucking tells me anything anymore. let alone show me a movie he was in!" doesn't want to have anything to do with her my ass. he's in her movie. that's more than i ever see of him! haha anyway, my costume aint working out. building this box isn't working. it's too flimsy. i'm about to just throw in the bag and be something else cuz kyla came up with something funny for us to be. so i think we're just gonna do that. but shhhhhhhhh, it's a secret. =P

aww...rick's friend darren called me sometime during the night and left me a voice message. i'll call him back tomorrow. i'm too tired now. i only turned my fone on cuz i want to delete some #'s. but that made me happy. after such a crap night, it's nice when people call you out of the blue! =)

tonight was shitty. i didn't have fun at all. we went to this party at this house where weezer used to record. *the* garage from the song and the one shown in the "say it aint so" video. the party was full of random people who found the info on the weezer website. i talked to the guy that lives there and he was this older man from ireland. nice guy. musician who drives a truck around to move artwork. we stayed there for awhile and then came back here. then we went to some parties. they sucked. one had all this horrible porn on the walls and all these people smoking. i hated every minute. dom and ky disappeared somewhere but we found them in the end. they are cute together. so cute that it makes me happy in one sense and sad in another. happy cuz hell, we are never so fortunate to find anyone. so way to go for her! sad because i wish i found someone cool like dom! =( oh well. anyway, at the second party we went to dylan was there and i'm so sure he saw me and didn't say anything to me. fuck him! i'll never speak to him ever again. at least not on my own initiative. not if he can't even say hi to me at some stupid little party. fuck that! anyway, a shitload of random people were there -- pianist aaron, daria boy harry, drew, may from my major (who was hanging off drew), big mouth jill, harrison, hotboy jeff, short americano caleb, chris cruz, and more. but i was totally NOT feelin it and consequently had a shitty night. tomorrow i work from 6:30 til closing. whoop dee doo. my box thing aint working out so well and i might have to scrap the costume. poop. i need to do my laundry. double poop. bleh. i'm just in a pissy mood. tomorrow will be better. =)

tonight was strange. i went to dinner with dan. we went to the stinking rose. i had a good time. we had a long conversation about HTML oddly enough. i said i would redo his dad's website for him. i dunno if he really wants me too. anyway, he came back here and drank with all of us. and for the most part the night was ok. like i was dealing with it. but you know. the pangs. the pangs of pain. they come here and there. and make me sad. cuz it's dan. and it's hard. ugh!!! and when he made the comment "what am i? your boyfriend?" oh man. that got me. right there. cuz i was asking him to hold my cup. ugh. dan! and then we went to this party and where was it? at brandon's place! eesh. i talked to his roommate rob a bit. he's a nice guy. said hi to brandon. stole one of their polaroids of brandon and eli. i dunno what i'm gonna do with it necessarily but yeah. fun stuff. anyway, there was a bit of a sticky situation tonight involving kyla, dom, and brian. to be figured out tomorrow when i talk to all parties. the night ended weirdly with a bunch of sitting around a random place while emily argued with spencer about homeless people. then kevin, emily, brian and dan walking back here. everyone leaving immediately except brian. me entertaining brian who was ready to pass out but didn't want to sleep here on our couch. poor thing had to walk so far. i told him to just sleep on our couch but he didn't want to. i'd offer my bed but i feel like we aren't on that level of friendship. cuz i've let my guy friends sleep in my bed before and it's fine. but i don't think brian would take that correctly. so i didn't offer. anyway, i bet i won't see dan forever now. and brian says it's for the best anyway. he says i don't need to see dan but every couple months anyway. which i think is sad cuz i like seeing dan. but what good does it do except torment me? here is a photo i took of dan and kyla when he first came over. to preserve the moment basically because i know it'll be awhile til he comes around to these parts again. =(

poopy poop poop. i didn't get the grade i wanted in law! i got a B but i wanted an A or A-. i thought i got an A-. now i gotta see which ones i got wrong. cuz i studied for the fucker and i thought i did better. so did pablo. sheesh. oh well. whatever. i don't really care about my grades but my parents do. it's more for them than me. i just want to go to art school and learn graphics and web stuff and do that for a living. nevermind grades. i am over those. i was over those back in high school!

oh yeah. urban hasn't called me back. my hope is that this means i didn't get the job and won't have to worry about a huge fight with my folks once more. goddamn they bug me! i have also been looking into internships at various web design & graphics firms as well as any possible paid internships for next semester since i have to do one next semester and i don't want to work for free really unless it's a damn cool job. i created this online resume that has image map links and all. i think it's pretty nifty. u can see for yourself. maybe some cool design firm will hire me as an intern. that would be rad. i'd have to leave vagrant but oh well. i'm starting to get bored there anyway.

who was i trying to kid? i went to home depot last night with kyla and dom and they said that if i came back early this morning i could get a big box from them. so i thought about waking up and going really early. of course once my alarm rang at 5am i was NOT about to go anywhere. so back to sleep i went and woke up just in time for my 9:30 advisement appt. man was that a load of crap. i knew which classes i needed to take to graduate but i wanted that little piece of white paper that confirmed it. the woman i met with was so typical business school. when she smiled i felt like it was a comercial for crest with the little white *ding* and all. i told her how i didn't like my major and was just finishing it because i had to and that was i gonna go to more school after i graduate. grad school she asked as everyone always does when i say that. no, i replied. art school. and of course she feigns a little "great. sounds great." whatever. she's probably wondering why i don't want to work for some consulting firm like the rest of my business school compatriots. oh well. c'est la vie. i'm going to dinner with dan tonight. this excites me since we haven't talked in ages and just the other day i had a moment in the car over him. i hate that we never talk anymore. it makes me sad. =( i was talking about him a lot randomly last night while out with dom and kyla. funny how he then messaged me. the world works in mysterious ways i tell ya. anyhow, last night with dom and ky was fun. we intended to go to target but that led to more random acts including trying to eat at doughboys but failing due to parking. then eating at canter's which was fair to moderate. then meeting up with brian, josh, wakerly and wakerly's visiting friend, charlotte at diddy riese. good times. good times with those skatebot boys! then going to home depot and seeing david faustino with some chick all over him. and perhaps seeing one of the guys from limp bizkit. i'm not sure. i might have just had stars in my eyes....

fuck! now i don't know what to do about urban. i sort of hope they don't hire me to take care of the mess i have created. my parents think that working there will take too much of my time and energy. our "conversation" was sort of a shouting match that brought me to tears and made a mess of the situation. so if urban just declines me, then i won't have to worry. i think perhaps if they do offer me a job i'll ask about pay and hours per week. and maybe it won't work out. or maybe i can get them to let me work like 12 hours a week which is only slightly more than starbucks and this will then appease my parents more. ugh. what a fucking mess. anyway, i just found my dog keychain humping my car alarm. haha

why do i even fucking tell my parents anything? i told them how i applied at urban and such just because if i got the job i wouldn't be able to go home for the whole break. they said that didn't matter to them that much and that they would understand. but then they went and talked to my aunts about it like my mom always fucking does, and now she doesn't want me to work there. cuz my aunts said not to. she never makes her own fucking decisions. she just asks my aunts til one of them will say no. then she tells me no. what the fuck is this bullshit? my parents are so fucking retarded. this is why i hate going home. this is why i don't want to be near them. look at what they do to me from a distance. if i'm any closer they'll just fuck more shit up. i haven't gotten the job yet cuz the man is supposed to call me back like tomorrow, buf if he gives it to me, i don't wanna say no. not just cuz my parents don't want to me. i mean, what is that shit? ugh. this fucking pisses me off.

i'm all over the place. i woke up and felt sorta sick. so i took some asirpin and such. but i didn't feel like going to vagrant anymore. i didn't feel like interning for free ever again. free labor blows. so i was all cranky and schleppy cuz i don't feel so hot. got in my car. played some david gray. drove to vagrant. on the way i started to think about dan during the song say hello, wave goodbye which created a moment for me and a few tears began to shed. got to vagrant only to find that there was nothing to do. this one intern jon, still doesn't have a job so he's always there! ugh! i'm not such a fan. rob right away noticed i cut my hair. he didn't say "wow it's really black." he was like "you cut your hair huh?" rob is the one that wants to go drinking with me. so of course he pays attention to detail with me. my hair was even in a headband and he could tell! anyway, wayne and marisa (the two main people who supply me with tasks) decided to go to a long lunch together. prolly to discuss business stuff. so that left me with NOTHING to do. so i sat and read this magazine and took notes on various indie bands that i want to check out. then i decided to leave. went to the post office. got my teddy bear stamps. and here i am. back home. and ready to take a nap!

a day of stars! i saw ed burns walking down the promenade after my interview at urban. then before the foo fighters show i swear the lead singer of lit was in our elevator and walked behind us to the concert. i kept looking back at him but then i feared he thought i was checking him out. cuz he noticed every single time i looked. oh well. anyway, the concert was really awesome. the foo did a great job. dave grohl has good banter btwn songs. the drummer for the chili peppers was there on stage and mooned the crowd after dave talked about his ass. cuz the foo are playing with RHCP on saturday or something for the KROQ halloween show. and during the encore some random guy got on stage, took a photo of the drummer, then jumped into the crowd. it was funny. anyway, i'm glad rick had a good time. when we got home we just did whatever. and then once midnight came around and kyla got home we whipped out the cake and sang the song and all was lovely. adrian didn't partake in the cake tho. but i teased him about it. i like teasing him about stuff. i think he's cool. i wish he lived here. i think we would get along well and have some good times. and he would fit in well with our crowd. sad he has to go back to seattle tomorrow.

one step closer. i went into urban today and interviewed with thomas. i knew who he was right away cuz he was the guy i saw yesterday. he seemed cool from the start. he saw that i interned at vagrant and so we talked about vagrant for like 20 minutes! he loves vagrant. he used to be in a band. who hasn't?!? he's worked at ubran for 10 years now and he's a senior store manager. so he's not 27 like i thought but actually 33! but he seemed cool. he said that i fit the urban style and he is very interested in hiring me. he just has to finish up his interviews. he said my tight schedule would work best with the housewares dept. and i guess some people are bummed about this cuz he felt like he had to sell me on the housewares dept rather than the women's dept. but hell, i'd much rather arrange nice patterns with the glasses and candles than fold clothes all day and work in the dressing room area. PLUS, the housewares is mainly down near the men's dept. so i would see a lot of guys shopping. the guy's shopping upstairs are with their gf's so who cares about that? haha anyway, the one downside is that i'd be here for x-mas. i could get the week off after x-mas but i'd have to be here for most of the break. but i'd do it. cuz i love urban and i've always wanted to work there. way more so than starbucks.

man, it was SOOOOO busy tonight at starbucks. lots of people we knew were in there too. me and kyla hooked them all up with free shit. good times. ian dailey came in with his girlfriend. the "plainos" as joe calls them. he said he saw my website cuz he searched for his name and found it in this very blog. i was sort of embarrassed and he goes "you look all embarrassed now." cuz i was!! how funny. good times. oh and i got my review from the manager. i got a 17 cent raise effective november 7th -- 6 months from my start date. a whole 17 cents guys!! aren't u proud? haha whatever. there was much sarcasm in that. 17 cents per hour for the amount of hours i work is like me clocking in 5 minutes early and clocking out 5 minutes late. hell, if might even be less than that. i didn't do the math and i don't care to either. haha

darren just called me and woke me from my nap! argh. i didn't have the heart to tell him that tho. he said he arrived safe and all. asked how my urban experience went. i said i didn't get the interview til tomorrow. he said he'll keep in touch. i dunno if that means just litterally calling me or if he retained any of my websites that i quickly showed him. or my aim screenname which was everpresent on my screen while we chatted last night. who knows. i did realize one thing out of all of this. and that is that whenever guests come here. it always seems like i am one of the main people greeting them. making them feel welcome. extending my hand. me and lawrence i'd say. cuz michael and kyla don't really at all. rick sorta. i feel like i'm always doing it. i don't mind necessarily. it does take up my time to entertain and if i was really busy i wouldn't do so. it's just always awkward for guests when they stay here i feel. cuz they have their one core host person. but the rest of the people are foreign. and so if those other people aren't very inviting, it's weird. so i try to be inviting. so that the stay isn't so strange. and with the case of darren it was even weirder since rick wasn't here yesterday. oh well. all done. i am sufficiently tired and wish i could sleep longer. but i need to get shit done. so i shall push on. poo. i looked up some web design/ graphics design firms that i am gonna try to email and intern at. here they are. some seem really interesting:

- superhappybunny co.
- sakebomb
- hello design
- hyfn
- fahrenheit studio

oh man i'm tired. i woke up at like 7am to take darren to the airport. he was sorta still sleeping with rick's alarm going off to some radio station. so i tapped him and we were outta here within 15 min. i was scared i'd fall asleep at the wheel! but i didn't. dropped him off. said an awkward goodbye...after all. we talked so much i felt like i knew him just *that* much better. so was a hug in order? we did a half one. then i came back and took another nap. cuz basically "sleep" "last night" was really a "nap" "this morning." i got up and got ready to go to urban to apply for a job. they seem to have a fair amount of applications. the manager people weren't there at the time so i had to come back after their lunch. when i came back i talked with a woman named jessica. she seemed rather tired. she was "screening" me. basically weeding out the people who should get interviews and who shouldn't. as we talked i could tell it wasn't going well in that my availability is shitty. cuz i have so much class and urban is so far, that i can't really work that much. at least not this semester. i explained to her my situation and how i basically don't NEED a job, i just really want to work there. and that next semester i'll be much more open in my schedule since i'll only have class 2 days a week. she asked me some random questions, one being whether i like it here better than san francisco. and i flat out told her that i like SF better. i used to like LA but not so much after i came back from england. she looked over my stuff and was like "well. u seem really cool. but your schedule is really tight. i can put in a good word for u, but that's about all i can do. i don't know if they are hiring people for these days that u are free." then this other man all of a sudden like peeps around a corner with some applications and calls jessica over to him. so i wait for her to return. when she comes back she says, "what are you doing tomorrow at 10:30am? can you be here?" luckily my marketing class is cancelled so i can be there. so i told her that and she was like "ok. come in tomorrow at 10:30am. you'll be interviewing with thomas." and that was that. i said thank you and goodbye and i was off. how weird. it went from "you're cool. i'll put in a good word for u" to "ok, you have an interview tomorrow at 10:30." weird. i wonder if that man that peeped his head was thomas? eh. anyway, i'll go in tomorrow and see what happens. i really want to work there cuz it's cool and there's a fat discount. but whatever. i'm not gonna trip. i know the competition is tight cuz there are lots of people who want to work at urban. so we'll see how it goes. time to nap now. i'm soooo tired. then i have all this random shit i need to do. it blows man. and work tonight at 8:30!

fuck me. it's really late. and i said i would take rick's friend darren to the airport tomorrow (ie, later this morning). i felt bad for him cuz he's a really nice guy and his whole gf situation sucks ass and he's pissed and i would be too. and i didn't want to make him take a shuttle so i just agreed to drive him. so we're leaving around 7am. then i'll sleep some more when i return. he and i talked a bunch today earlier before seeing punch drunk love which was a really weird, and not so great film. then i went to work and was really tired towards the end. came home and talked to kyla about the brian situation which has become a slight mess. then darren came to my room while i was giving guitar andy directions to universal. so then me and him talked for about 2-3 hours before deciding sleep was in order. so now i will sleep for about 2.5 hours. get up. take him to the airport. and boom, life is back to normal.

so last night was, to say the least, interesting. but only at the way end. basically, rick's dad, friend, brother, uncle, 2 cousins, sister, her bf, and rick's friend's brother were all here. the younger ones of the lot all went out partying with us. and by us i mean the sort of usual crew. our house plus emily, row mike, brian, dominic and some others. anyway, we only found one party and it was pretty weak. there was even a fight breaking out there. so we all came home. actually, most went home. some never made it back here including emily and row mike. me, ky, brian and dom went to del taco. dom bought us some macho nachos. how kind of him. =) oh spuds! then we came back here. so all was cool. i realized that i was past midnight and therefore aberdeen's 11th birthday. so i got out the camera and here's what happened:

how cute! =) i love my teddy bear. anyway, so we were all chilling but rick's 2 cousins were being....weird. their names are nick and joe. anyway, at one point nick leans over to darren (ie, rick's friend's brother) and says something like "man. i want that jen chick." or something like that. but i heard the jist of it and i was laying on my little bean bag basically trying to just avoid it all. but whenever i looked over there it was weird. then eventually he gets up and walks over near brian cuz brian is closer to me. and then he says out loud in front of everyone, "hey jen. you wanna go downstairs with me?? talk? just you and me." i don't know how to get out of this especially cuz it's all out loud in front of people. so i just sorta said something like, "nah. that's ok. i'm comfortable right here." and he says something like, "well alright then jen." but then about 10 min later he asks me again and i somehow deflect. i can't recall. at this point i'm tired and have a headache. i was a bit drunk last night afterall. but after that it was just awkward for me and my friends. even earlier in the night i felt i was getting some sort of vibe from darren. now mind you, he's only 18 and he's got a gf. but nevertheless, i was feeling it. cuz when i first met him i totally forgot his name and everyone else's. and i said to him right away, "man i already forgot your name. is it like john or something?" and so then we had to remeet. and as the pre-partying continued i was getting drunk and talking to him about how i finally realized who he was since rick said who all the people were that were visiting. and then i found out how young he was. and then i got my cell fone and found i had 2 missed calls. one was from a 206 area code and so i called it. got a voicemail but i couldn't hear cuz of the noise. then i found out it was darren's fone. and so later when we were partying, i was leading the crew down the street and he called me! it was so silly. haha but whatever. and at the party he would come up to me and hit me with his ass and such things. i mean it's all harmless but i was feeling the vibe. we split some chocolate. it was all good. whatever. but man, those cousins. joe and nick. eesh. gotta watch out for them. as it got late and brian and dom decided to leave, i needed them to escort me down the stairs so that way i wouldnt have to deal with joe and nick. so we say goodbye to the skatebot boys but then we hear the guys come down the stairs. so i hide in my room. then dom comes to it and knocks and tells me it's him. so i open it and we chat and he, kyla, and adrian sorta block the way. then they just tell me i should go into my room. so i do. brian and dom leave. the cousin's go upstairs. all is well. but what a night! sheesh. and the funny thing is that joe ain't so hot but nick is alright looking. he has a nice body and an ok face. but man, he was saying the stupidest things. such a turnoff!! yuck.

anyway, SC beat UW today! weeee!! good shit. it was really hot at the game with the sun beating down. but we won! =) more partying tonight perhaps. we shall see.

another fun night at skatebot house. me and ky are regulars over there. it's great! brian has told me twice now that he's a "fan of jen." that's what i like to hear! haha those boys are "good people." good people indeed. =) dom made everyone waffles. that was lovely. he's such a cute and funny boy. his movies were hilarious. s presso was my personal fave. kyla has to work on a paper so we couldn't stay too too late. but we will probably see them tomorrow for typical friday night debauchery. haha good stuff. time to work on orange:house version 2.0.

weeeeee! midterms are OVER! well, except for the one in my cinema class where i have to crash an event. still working on that. the 311 midterm was alright. i'm a little scared on how i did. i know i answered the bonus question right so that'll make up for some sort of error elsewhere. i took my senior portraits today. i chose to wear my lovely red sweater-ish type top because it has a collar and because the red will contrast nicely with my dark black hair. man, my hair is dark! i can't wait for the red streaks to come back. i, and many of my friends, miss them. =( here is a photo of myself with my new haircut and black hair. i wish i could take my senior portraits like this.

anyway, tonight me and ky are going to skatebot house to look at marginalman's aka spuds mcbruno's aka dominic's little short films he's made in the past. also they are making waffles for dinner. so this should be lovely! i'm excited. tomorrow i have law class and then me and ky are going shopping on the promenade. yay! i'm gonna apply to work at urban outfitters. i've wanted to work there for years. i just never applied. perhaps they will hire me and then i can get the fat discount. but then i'll prolly have to be here for most of winter break which will suck. but i could work a lot and make money! i'd have to quit starbucks tho cuz i can't do both AND an internship. that just won't work. i'd miss my starbucks crew which would suck. but hey. i have enough coffee to last me years already and the discount at urban is just so great. plus there are some hot guys that work there! =)

fuckin eh! someone got ahold of my credit card # somehow and made 3 purchases with it within the last two days. how the fuck did this happen?? ugh! on a better note. i got my haircut today. wee! i think i like it. u know how they always style it not the way u want it. well i think i can work with it. so we'll see. it's really fucking black now. i think i'm gonna have to wear lipstick to offset it. otherwise i'm gonna look too pale in the face. eesh!

oh man. lawrence came up with a nifty halloween costume after i gave him one of my ideas. it's sort of a spin-off. and we came up with some rad ways to make it work. boy am i excited! =)

damn. my hair is really BLACK! i just dyed out the red. and boy is it ever gone. and my hair is like really black. but that's what i had to do in order for the red to be gone. u can't dye out red with off black. it won't work. i talked to the woman at the store and she said it had to be true black or else it might latch onto the red and make it some funny color. i don't mind the intense black really. it's fine with me. my dad won't like it for my senior portraits but oh well. soon enough the red will be back in and then it will look cool. the contrast will be more striking. =)

one more midterm to go. weeeeee! i just took one today for my marketing class. it was sooooooo open-ended and vague. we are all gonna be graded against each other. who the hell knows how i'll stack up. my next midterm is this thursday for 311. i'm not too worried. i just gotta do the practice exams thoroughly so that way i don't make a mistake. there is no room for error in this class. and i mean NO room! already i have half a point off for typing in the wrong answer for my homework. so that's half a point off the total amount of points possible. if i lose only a few more points i'm screwed out of my A. so i need to keep focused and continue with perfection. fucking ridiculous business curves. fuck them all!

in the past couple of nights i have been chatting a lot with people about post college life. i's say at least 75% of my friends are clueless on what they will do. where they will live. etc. i feel like most of the campus knows what the hell is going on with themselves. or perhaps it's just the business students who are selling their souls to some large corporation with some fancy name. but most of my friends aren't like that. in fact i think they all are. and so we are all clueless as to what to do. at least half are moving away from LA, myself included. where we will go we don't know. i have been thinking about my choice of learning web design a bit further. i still like the idea a lot, but then the thought of photography came into play. i am a photo slut and all, and i have always loved B&W photography and such. but would i make it in that field? i don't have what it takes right now to be a good photographer, but i could learn i think. or could i? i feel like web design is slightly more stable cuz photography is more of a free lance field and free lance scares me a bit. cuz that means more schmoozing and such. more selling of yourself. and that is why i decided i don't want to be a movie producer. so now i'm in a quandry. i really need to hash this out with my parents more. cuz i'm starting to get lost again. either way, i don't want to wear the suit. that's for sure. i'll never wear the suit!!

my tummy hurts!!! i dunno if it was the coffee or what. but it hurts. i am "studying" for my marketing midterm tomorrow. brian didn't even study. good for him. i'm lame. i'm chatting and skimming the book and notes. i tried talking to dan tonight to no success. i don't even know why i bother. all i end up doing it upsetting myself for his lack of attention. sad. whatever. i'm revisiting my mp3s after sticking them back on my computer post-2nd-generation-reformatting. i forgot some of my greats like "don't dream it's over" by crowded house and "abegail anne" by sunny day real estate frontman jeremy enigk. man that song rocks. ok, back to "studying."

aberdeen turns 11 on saturday. yay! =) i'm telling everyone that and they all seem to think it's weird or creepy or something. sad. =( poor aberdeen. no love! no...LOVE!! haha anyway, this week i have 3 midterms technically. one is for my HTML class that i'm auditing. i think i might not take it. we'll see. i definitely won't study for it. that's for sure. i don't know what to be for halloween!! it's coming up fast too. any ideas?? i was talking to dom online and i told him how i thought of being a q-tip but how people don't think it's sexy enough. and here is what he said:
ElPerdedor: yes, when i think of sexy, qtip is not on the list
haha. good stuff. anyway, i'm getting my hair cut this week. yay! i'm soooooo glad. it's all long and ugly and horrible! i can't wait to get it cut. then i'm dying the red out for a few weeks til i take my senior portraits and crash the event for my cinema class. then it's back to red streaks or some sort of streaks. ok, i'll end this with a link to this really cute lego movie.

man. i'm tired. and i woke up so late! like 1:30pm!!! actually i woke up late yesterday and today. friday and saturday have been two long nights of drinking and partying. friday was eh. the most fun part was me, kyla, and brian going over to emily's and getting quesadillas. they were yummy. last night emily didn't come out with us and we had a little pre-party here. it was a little weird tho cuz mario from starbucks was here. he came with us to the football game and stayed here for a bit. but it was awkward so i tried to help it by talking to him and such while kyla talked to brian. but alas i can only do so much. so he left once we left to party. we went to avalon and basically stayed there for like at least 2 hours! it was a fun party. brandon wasn't there but mikey was. and i of course didn't do a damned thing. even with my friends trying to help. i am HOPELESSLY lame. but whatever. he's not bf material anyway. he's the assholish type that's hot. it would never work anyway. there was almost a fight last night and he went in and sort of calmed it down and made sure it went no further. i thought that was hot. kyla even admitted that she could see how i am attracted to him. the way he carries himself and thinks he's the shit. i love that. i heard he's a nice guy. i mean, that's what his friends tell me. but whatever. i move on. dominic left the group rather early and was a party pooper. josh stayed longer than i expected. perhaps due to pat being there. who knows. josh is a cute and quirky fella. but i know i would never have a chance with him. perhaps thats why i moved onto my brief likings of wakerly and dom. who knows. i had a dream about josh last night which didn't help my cause but whatever. anyway, after we left the avalon party with the masses, we went home quickly so the group could pee. then we went to the caribbean but that was just awful. lots of jocks and such throwing shit into the center courtyard pool. lame! then we came home and chatted a bunch before sleeping. the night was fun but i felt unfulfilled in the boy realm. i felt like there were lots of potentials at the party but i just didn't move at all. i'm lame. whatever. at least i wasn't the only lame person. what with kyla and brian not doing anything either. kyla being the lame one and not making that last move as he left. sad. it will come. slowly. eventually. then me and emily will sit and watch and eat our pinks hotdogs from afar...

i feel a bit too lazy to put 100% into this entry, but i'll try. haha i'm tired. i just took a 311 quiz which i think went fine, and my 403 midterm which went moderate. that means i'll get a B- due to the curve. if you aren't perfect, you won't get an A. it blows. anyway, last night while the rest of my friends (except poor dan and wakerly who were working on engineering stuff) were having fun, i was here in my room studying. it wasn't to the best success because lots of people were over here watching hockey, filming, and making food and socializing. then around 10:30pm, ellen calls me and wants to go out to the row just to see it. she swears we'll be gone no more than 30 min. so i agree to go with her, not because i care to go to the row at all, but because i haven't seen her in awhile. so we go to the row and it's lame and we leave fairly quickly. we go to starbucks so i can get caffeinated to stay up studying. mario and jorge are working and they hook us up with the free drinks. weee! then we come back here and try to the lentil soup that michael and apolka made. it was quite good! ellen informs me that she is going to dinner with dan's parents this weekend. now, this doesn't bother me all that much, but it's sorta what it stands for. what i mean is, i don't care that she gets to have dinner with them. what i care is that dan never asks me to do anything anymore. and meet his parents, good god no! i would like to meet them but i know i won't. this whole weekend i probably won't hear two peeps out of dan. i actually never do. so it all harks back to the main idea which is that i feel like my friendship with dan is completely one-sided. and it pisses me off at times. most of the time i don't notice because i basically have made my brain feel like he's not even here. like he's in vienna and just not even here to do anything with me. it's sad but really fucking true. but every so often i remember that he *IS* here. and then i think, why the fuck doesn't he ask me to do anything? and yes he's busy most of the time. but still. whenever i talk to him he always says things like how he should do something with ellen, eric, or alicia. he never says he should do something with me. so i think, what the fuck is this shit? what am i? chopped liver? i suppose so. like i said, most of the time i don't notice cuz i have other people to occupy my time. like my lovely roommates. or emily, our honorary house member. or jessica who's here about as much as rick is! and of course the new additions to my life, the skatebot boys. =) regardless of them, i guess the reality of the situation is that dan just doesn't care to do things with me anymore. and it makes me sad because we used to do stuff together a lot. and i don't mean when we were dating. i mean before that. but whatever. i'll end this rant cuz it'll just make me more upset. i have to return to my peaceful state of mind.

oh man. i just found this song called "waste of paint" by bright eyes. this song is really fucking good. bright eyes is one of those emo bands like dashboard confessional that is basically known by the lead singer. in this case his name is connor oberst. and his voice is a bit hard for some to handle much like chris carraba's of dashboard. but no bother. i like bright eyes for the most part. up until this point my favorite song was by far "something vague." but now having heard "waste of paint" i think i have to change my mind. this song is so great. it's a bit long at 6+ minutes, but it's really good. it has no chorus so all the verses are different. it's sorta like one long poem set to an acoustic guitar. here are the lyrics in case you care to read:

waste of paint
- bright eyes

i have a friend, he's mostly made of pain
he wakes up, drives to work and straight back home again
he once cut one of my nightmares out of paper
i thought it was beautiful, i put it on a record cover
and i tried to tell him he had a sense
of color and composition so magnificent
and he said, "thank you, please,
but your flattery,
it's truly not becoming me,
your eyes are poor, you're blind you see,
no beauty could have come from me
i'm a waste
of breath, of space, of time."

i knew a woman, she was dignified and true
her love for her man was one of her many virtues
until one day she found out that he had lied
and decided the rest of her life from that point on would be a lie
she was grateful for everything that had happened
and she was anxious for all that would come next
but then she wept, what did you expect
in that big old house with the car she kept
and such is life she often said
with one day leading to the next
you get a little closer to your death
which was fine with her, she never got upset
and with all the days she may have left
she would never clean another mess
or fold his shirts or look her best
she was free
to waste away alone

last night, my brother he got drunk and drove
and this cop he pulled him off to the side of the road
and he said, "officer, officer, you've got the wrong man,
no no, i'm a student of medicine, a son of a banker, you don't understand."
the cop said, "no one got hurt, you should be thankful,
and your carelessness, it is something awful
and no, i can't just let you go
and though your father's name is known
you decisions now are yours alone
you're nothing but a stepping stone
on a path
to debt, to loss, to shame."

the last few months i've been living with this couple
yeah, you know the kind who buy everything in doubles
yeah, they fit together like a puzzle
i love their love, and i am thankful
that someone actually receives the prize that was promised
by all those fairy tales that drugged us
and still to me, i'm sick, lonely
no laurel tree, just green envy
will my number come up eventually
like love's some kind of lottery
where you scratch and see what's underneath
it's sorry, just one cherry
i'll play again, get lucky

so now i hang out down by the train's depot
no, i don't ride, i just sit and watch the people there
the remind me of windup cars in motion
the way they spin and turn and jockey for positions
and i want to scream out that it all is nonsense
and their life's one track and can't they see it's pointless
but just then my knees give under me
my head feels weak and suddenly
it's clear to see it's not them but me
who's lost my self-identity
and i hide behind these books i read
while scribbling my poetry
like art could save a wretch like me
some ideal ideology
that no one could hope to achieve
and i'm never real, it's just a sketch of me
and everything i've made is trite and cheap
and a waste
of paint, of tape, of time

so i park my car down by the cathedral
where the floodlights point up at the steeples
choir practice is filling up with people
i hear the sound escaping as an echo
sloping off the ceiling at an angle
when the voices blend they sound like angels
i hope there's some room still in the middle
but when i lift my voice up now to reach them
the range is too high way up in heaven
so i hold my tongue, forget the song
tie my shoes, start walking off
and try to just keep moving on
with my broken heart and my absent god
and i have no faith but it's all i want
to be loved, and believe
in my soul, in my soul

which do you prefer? aesthetically i like the one on the right because i like the squares and the white borders in btwn. but the one on the left is "cute." if u look at it quickly it's like, "aww. that's cute. stuffed animals." then u look closer and you're like, "ohmygod! it's cute little stuffed animals humping!!" then it's not so cute. it's definitely different and i wouldn't mind having the poster for my room. but i haven't seen the movie yet. rick has tickets to see it tonight but i can't go cuz i have to study for my law midterm tomorrrow. poo!! i actually skipped my classes today to study on campus and it turned out to be more of a social scene than anything. i saw all these people i never see on campus cuz i was not in my secluded little business corner that i loathe so much. i was over in GFS. i saw a bunch of aerospace engineers there and i knew they must have all been in the same class. that was cute. and this guy named brent sat down next to me to study near me and he is in my law class. so we chatted about that a bit. i don't technically know his name yet i do for some reason. we never introed ourselves though. i do know that emily hooked up with him before! but i recognize him from before that. it was funny cuz we were sitting on this row of seats and i was on one end and he was on the other end. and we'd periodically put up our arms on the seats next to us to rest our arm. and sometimes we'd do it at the same time and our hands were close to each other so one of us would take our arm down. it was funny to me. anyway, i have to trudge on studying tonight while everyone has fun. rick and jessica are going to the movie. lawrence is psyched about the first sharks game of the season. i think emily is watching it too. kyla and brian are gonna drink i think. michael is helping tim with his film. and i'm studying... =(

preston should have NEVER told me about this. endless hours of shits and giggles right there. haha =)

for you to notice...
- dashboard confessional

i'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where i would impress you
with every single word i said.
would come out insightful or brave or smooth or charming
and you'd want to call me
and i would be there every time
you'd need me
i'd be there every time...
but for now i'll look so longingly
waiting...
for you to want me, for you need me, for you to notice me

aww. nothing like a good ole trip to skatebot house to liven the night even more! i am totally giddy with joy from seeing them and being silly. me and ky went over there to return wakerly's bucky and we totally just like overwhelmed the household. it was great. good times. got a proper tour of the entire house. wakerly's room is cool looking. and dom's so fucking funny it's great. i love him and his humor. anyway, then we went to ralphs and bought all this shit. now i gotta do my homework. woo! at least i'm not all in a shitty mood anymore. weeeeeee!

well...nothing happened between my last post and now that made the day any better technically. yet i feel better. and no it wasn't the cute little greeting that jessica sent to me. although i really appreciated it and thank her for the gesture. but before i got home from class i had already decided i felt better. i went to class and thought about the class for 2 hours and it cleared my head. i realized, after the class, that my shitty day was not because anything particularly shitty happened to me. (although i do have to reschedule my hair appt which sucks) it was me creating the shittiness in my head. me thinking that what happened today was neccessarily bad when in reality it was no different from any other day. i just let the reality of my situation get the best of me and i turned it into negativity. but i realize that now and i feel better.

oh boy! i just did something potentially really stupid. lame for sure. and no it's not the 2 shot makeshift mocha i just made and drank. nor the imitation " starbucks doubleshot" i concocted and have chillin in the fridge for later consumption. (yes i'm getting caffeinated tonight!) it has to do with a boy of course. haha what else is new?

some people in this world are so supremely dumb it's not even funny! case in point. my 311 teacher tells the class today that some students have asked for extensions on the hw due this week. but one student said the stupidest thing ever. they sent the prof this email saying something like, "dear prof. can you please extend the deadline on the hw due this week because javid can't do my hw until friday which is after it is due." yes folks, someone actually wrote that to the professor! how fucking stupid is this person? i dunno. stupid enough that he might try to fail the student on grounds of cheating. and you know what, i think this stupid student deserves an F for being so dumb! i mean homework is pretty laid back. you can do it with your friends and technically be cheating but not get caught. and hell, if want to go so far, you can even have someone do it for u and still not get caught. but you don't fucking tell the teacher that you're having someone do it for u. that's just plain STUPID! anyway, i just thought i'd mention that in case anyone feels compelled to email their teachers saying they are cheating. think before you type people. THINK!!

yeah. so me and kyla are gonna go to starbucks tomorrow before my internship around 11:30am when steven is working. this way she can meet him and i can see him again. yes, i am lame. i am really silly and lame. but fuck it. we're going. it won't be that weird really cuz both of us are going. whatever. i'll see this crush through to its endpoint then start a new one. you know me. one boy to the next. never get any of them!

pure hell i tell ya. pure fucking hell. starbucks was PACKED all fucking night! the line NEVER went away. and it was all girls working tonight. me, lorena, sophia, susana, and desiree. i normally don't work with any of them except lorena so we were not in a good rhythm at all. probably the single worst moment of my night was when this woman named debbie was a complete bitch about her drinks. here's what happened: she ordered a double tall latte, a triple short latte, and a tall cappucino. so i made the tall latte, called out her name and she took it. then i made the other two drinks and called them out for "andrea." i had no more drinks left to make and debbie was still standing there. and those two drinks for "andrea" were still there too. so she asks where her cappucino and triple latte are. so then i say, "oh. well i have no more drinks to make. these must be for you." she then proceeds to bitch about how her name is not debbie therefore they CANNOT be for her. i explain that there are no more drinks and since those drinks are exactly what she ordered, they MUST be for her. she does not see my point. so then i ask again, "what did you order?" she replies, "a triple latte and a cappuncino." so i say, "well, these are those drinks. even if the name is wrong, they probably just made a mistake." she does not seem to see how they could EVER make a mistake with her name." did she take a fucking look at how long the line was and how flustered we all were? so then he bitches that the cappucino is too light. i said, "well, a cappucino is a shot of espresso and half foam and half milk. so it's lighter than a latte." she then questions that! she wants more coffee! it's like, "look you bitch! the point of a cappucino is that you taste the coffee more since there is more foam. if u want more substance, get a fuckin latte!" finally she just accepts the drinks but believes that they still aren't hers just because the name is wrong. i felt like grabbing the drinks, crossing out the names, putting hers and saying "look! now it says debbie. and it's a cappucino and a triple latte. WOW! now it's the correct drink. oh my god! what a miracle." in THE most sarcastic tone possible. but i didn't. i composed myself and then once she left i promptly bitched to everyone i was working with and even the other customers could hear me. i didn't give a shit. she was holding me up and she was being a complete bitch. fuck her. ugh. anyway, then i got home around 1:15am only to find a fucking ROACH in my closet. it was the most disgusting thing ever. crawling on my fucking shoes. i sprayed it with roach spray and then dumped it out of my shoe. i was screaming so loudly that the neighbors came over concerned. cuz no one in my house would help me. so all i did was scream for like 5 minutes in disgust. the one saving grace and highlight of my night was when steven came in around 9pm. this was before that bitch debbie pissed me off. he came in to say hi i guess. =) i'm not sure if he ordered anything but i tried to talk to him while i was working. but it was so busy that it was hard. i don't know why i'm attracted to him but i am. he's totally not my type. but when i saw him come in it made me happy! he said he worked at our store this morning. then went to work at his own store. then went to the gym. then came to visit our store again. he hadn't gone home yet. i'm contemplating visiting while he is working. my god i feel ridiculous. but i have this silly little crush on him! =)

i think my antsiness is getting to me. today i went to work and i met this guy named steven. he works at a starbucks downtown but he's a "borrowed partner" at our store for a few weeks picking up extra hours. he seems nice and i found myself attracted to him which is strange cuz he's totally not my type. i always say i don't have a type, but i sorta do. and he's not it. he's not skinny. he's like buff. he's hispanic with facial hair! but i was talking to him a bit and when he left i wondered whether i'd see him again. cuz he isn't a normal partner at our store. he came over to me and said goodbye and shook my hand. then i asked if i'd see him again in terms of working with him. cuz i work tomorrow (monday) night. but he said he isn't working then so unless he came to say hi i wouldn't see him. sad. oh well. whatever. i think i'm just going crazy anyway. my enthusiasm for wakerly is dying out by the second. i can tell he's not into me or just doesn't want a gf period. whatever. either way my interest is dying as well. me and kyla went to benihana today with him, brian, justin, dustin, and dustin's gf cherie. it was fun. me and ky were cracking up the whole time. the rest just sorta sat and wondered why. haha wakerly was funny as usual but i just wasn't feeling it. so whatever. life goes on. and i continue my quest for a bf. kyla and brian are on the right track. it'll just be a matter of time. she'll fulfill her month easily and maybe mine and emily's too! even tho that is cheating. fuck. me and emily are going nowhere fast with this pact. =(

the rooney show was good. lots of high school kids there! my god. they were annoying. me and ky felt so old. haha even the band members are young. some are still in high school themselves! they did a good show and played my fave song of theirs, "losing all control." i can't wait for their album to come out. they are native los angelians i think so i'm sure there will be more shows to come from them. next week they play at chain reaction but i don't think i'll be going. no one to really go with!

look at this shit...an emo game. that's funny stuff. chris carraba is one of the characters u can be too. how silly. anyway, i'm going to see rooney tonight. they are a small, upcoming band from california. some of the guys are still in high school! i really liked their demo so i wanted to see them really badly. i can't wait for their album. i hope they are good tonight. i first saw them at the weezer show cuz they were on the side stage. and i liked them then. i'm excited!

what a strange night. first of all, tyler called me up asking if i could take his brother, travis, with us cuz travis lost his ride. so i agreed as long as travis came with us to get vietnamese sandwiches. so me, kyla, and emily picked up travis and we went to westminster to get sandwiches. on the way it was a little weird cuz travis doesn't remember meeting me or emily. so we were all just sorta chatting about random shit. and then we got to the sandwich place called lee's sandwiches and it was so crowded and strange. but it was totally fun. travis ate something too! kyla didn't finish and so she brought the rest of her sandwich in the car and it stunk up the car. so then kyla tossed it out the window on the side of the road. it was hilarious. so we continued on and went to his house. so it was like 2 hours with travis. he prolly thinks we are crazy. haha =) i didn't drink much at tyler's cuz i thought we were gonna go to a bar so i'd have to drive. and so then by the time i realized we weren't going to a bar, i didn't feel like drinking. which sucked cuz lots of people were really drunk. travis and his friends were running around crazily and really drunk. travis got nearly naked at one point. tyler took his shirt off. he was SUPER drunk!! man. i can't believe he is 24 years old!!! at one point jessica spilled my drink and tyler thought i did it and he was pretending to be mad at me. then he came down to where i was sitting on the floor and hugged me but in the process fell on me a bit and gave me razor burn from his facial hair rubbing against my cheek!! so now it sorta hurts and it's mildly red. oh tyler!

today in law class we watched a film called a civil action which came out in 1998 and stars john travolta and robert duvall. i actually enjoyed the film. i'm not much for courtroom films, but this one isn't so much about the courtroom. it's more about the best way to win a case. because it's not always about the truth but the strategic moves apparently. u don't want a lawyer who gets too emotionally involved and loses sight of the real issue in a civil case which is money. that's what it boils down to. most cases never go to trial. if they do, it's because the plaintiff is trying to prove something. and that's what travolta's character does. he takes the case to trial to prove something. anyway, for a good review of this film read roger ebert's.

scored tickets to the foo!! foo fighters are playing a show at the wiltern on oct 22nd to celebrate their album coming out that day. i was the only one, as far as i know, out of our group to score tickets. they are in the back but the venue isn't THAT big. so it should be decent. my "partner" was dan but since rick LOVES the foo and didn't get tickets, i will take him. cuz it's the day before his birthday too. so yeah. dan will understand i hope. =) tyler's tonight. weee!

wow! robbie williams has secured the biggest deal in UK history with a deal worth £80million. and apparently radiohead's next album is gonna be the exact opposite of "kid a" and "amnesiac." cool! i dig the old stuff better. "the bends" and "ok computer" are superb.

my ears are still sorta ringing. the NFG / something corporate / finch concert was LOUD! emily got us tickets for free from this dude who she interviewed at mca. and we got wristbands to chill in the VIP area which meant we were amongst the band members and label execs. it was fun. there was this cute boy who was next to me for a good portion of the concert and i didn't say one word to him! see, this is how lame i am and this is why i will never get a bf! =( anyway, foo fighters tickets go on sale at 10am. i'm excited. i hope i get tickets! it's limited. dan is my partner. we all have partners. i hope we all can go. that would be fun! and it's the day before rick's birthday and rick LOVES the foo fighters. good stuff. anyway, we all went to the art party. it was decent cuz i got to talk to a lot of people. brandon's roommate rob was there and he waved to me but i didn't know who he was til he came up to me and was like, "jen. i'm rob." and then i was like, "oh yeah. i recognize the voice." cuz we talked for an hour last week. he seems like a nice guy. i talked to caleb and jason for a bit. they are nice as well. nice iowa boys. talked to wakerly and josh and then got all embarrassed about how me and kyla got wakerly's # last year for halloween and we never called him back. but it was cuz we thought he'd forget that he gave it to us and then if we called he'd be like, "what?" but now i feel bad. like it's a strike against us. how can i ever go further with this liking of him if he thinks i didn't give a shit a year ago?!?! poo.

fuckin eh! robbie williams has been living LA for awhile now. working on his new album, "escapology" that comes out nov 18th. oh man. i would LOVE to run into him. i want to see him in concert soooo badly. yes, this is definitely a teenybopper type thing here and i'd be at a concert amongst thousands of 13 year old screaming girls. total guilty pleasure. but i don't care. i think robbie williams is fucking great. =) here's two recent photos of him. one where he's in a superman costume that the wore to the studio one day and then just one of him looking hot.

i just ordered 3 more dvds for my collection. i am buying them solely with my starbucks tip money. i just ordered a clockwork orange, i am sam, and romeo & juliet. exciting! i still have 14 more dvds to go til my collection is complete at it's current date. as more good movies come out of course i will want more.

oh man. i'm in love with jason statham. he's so hot. he's the british lead actor in the film the transporter which i just saw tonight. the film was good for it's really awesome action sequences but the dialogue was shitty. really cheezy. oh well. jason was hot in it. the oil fighting scene was superb. brad pitt was at the premiere and he looked all scraggley. sly stallone was there too. wtf? he's like old and fallen off the planet i thought! haha i didn't see jason there unless he was the mysterious hairy character with the hat floating around who was talking to brad pitt and such. anyway, the man is hot. he's muscular and british and hot! weee!

ok. so this "new" chick at vagrant named christine is the HR girl there. vagrant never used to have an HR person til about 3 wks ago. and i met her the first week she was there. and i have re-met her every week since. i didn't really like her tone from the start and i think HR people are bullshit anyway. so in my mind we didn't start off on the best foot with each other. but today was the fucking icing on the cake. so i'm sitting there doing my shit and she comes up to me and says, "hi. what's your name?" i tell her my name. first and last. a couple times. doesn't seem to be ringing bells with this bitch. so she's like "hmm...do u sign in the book?" i said i did. she's like "but your name isn't already there right?" and it's not. i have to write it in everytime. so she goes, "write down your name for me so i can put you down." so i write down my name on a paper and give it to her. and then she's like "ok. thanks. and you're an intern right? paid or unpaid?" it's like OH MY FUCKING GOD, woman! i've met u before. u can't remember my name. u aren't sure if i'm an intern. what kind of HR woman are you? she totally pissed me off. and then i met this other intern named jon who seems like a nice person but i was at that point in a shitty mood so basically i wasn't enjoying his humor. but he normally comes in only tuesdays and thurdays. so i won't see him again i'm sure unless he comes in next wednesday cuz he hasn't found a new job yet. cuz he just got fired this week. anyway, ugh. that woman fuckin pissed me off! i'm off to see the world premiere of the transporter and i'm skipping class for it too. a class which i can't really skip but i'm going to do it just this once cuz i want to go to this premiere. the movie really isn't my type of film per se but it has jason statham in it and he was in lock, stock and snatch. and i really liked him in those. so i want to go to this. anyway, i hope it's decent. traffic is totally gonna blow but i hope it's fun. perhaps i'll be in a better mood when i return.

well, by the time ky got home from work, the boys said they were all retiring to their rooms to chill. so we didn't go back to skatebot house. sad. had a good convo with brian on AIM. i got his ball rolling for better or for worse. now, if only i could do that for myself and a skatebot boy. but of course i can't. cuz i'm lame. and undesirable....to those i want to desire me. haha sad. but wouldn't that be cute? the orange:house girls dating two skatebot boys? me and ky have said this before. but we knew it would never be a reality. perhaps one half of our lovely duo can pull it off tho. only time, and probing, will tell... =)

me and ky went to skatebot house and delivered the fudge. wakerly was happy. yay! i'm glad he liked it along with the other roommates. sans row mike who of course declined it. i made fun of how he's "watching his weight" cuz he always talks about wanting to lose weight and how he doesn't eat this or that cuz it's too fatty and then he got all bent out of shape about it. sheesh! whatever. i don't care. anyway, ky had to work at starbucks tonight so i didn't stay over there but if she comes back soon enough we might go over there cuz they are drinking and celebrating and i want to join in but i feel awkward by myself. it sucks. oh well.

wow. all of a sudden i have all this shit to do this week!

* tonight -- skatebot house for wakerly's birthday. (happy birthday mike!)
* wednesday -- world premiere of the transporter w/lo in westwood
* thursday -- something corporate and NFG concert w/emily for FREE!
* friday -- in newport for tyler's birthday celebrations
* saturday -- rooney concert w/kyla
* sunday -- recover, study, and work at starbucks til closing

WHITE RABBITS!!!