today started off sort shitty is ending well. i went to school as usual. color theory class was fun cuz we did this trial thing for the critiques and the scruffily cute boy noah was funny. then i left and the hell began. i had to rush home to print out my color brochure thing for quark class at 6pm. and color theory ended at 4:20. u'd think that would be enough time. well well well. LA traffic was a fucking mess. i didn't get home til 5:15!!! i was stuck in HORRIBLE traffic and going bonkers. i got home and printed my shit. of course it didn't print quite right cuz something got fucked. whatever. then i made a mad dash back to class. i got there RIGHT at 6 on the dot. so i wasn't late. thank god. turned my shit in and sat thru 4 hrs of boring quark lessons. i thought john was like not happy to see me but he was just really focused on doing his work in the class since he didn't finish his assignment. he gets all like intense and focused sometimes and it makes u feel insignificant but that's just how he is. i have to remember that and also stop being so damned retarded and insecure. cuz i always think that he prolly doesn't really like me and this is all some sort of weird dream. but when i step back i realize that he does like me and i need to just fucking chill. like just now he called me to tell me that because of the talk we had tonight he got inspired to create stuff. and he appreciated me for helping him with that. and he might come over later. which is another thing. he drives a damn lot for me cuz i never go to his house. he always come here and it's a healthy drive each time. he lives in the fucking valley after all. and like he always mentions shit in the context of the future and includes me in it. so it presumes that we'd still be together. i dunno whatever. i need to chill.

anyway, so during class eric called me! i was so happy to see that he had called cuz i hadn't gotten an email from him in ages and i was starting to wonder what had happened to our relations. but he called and i called him back but couldn't talk that long cuz it was my break and plus i wanted to talk more about what was going on and about john and stuff but john was there. so i didn't. i'll call him tomorrow. good ole eric. i still have that soft spot. even if i am dating john. dear me. anyway, after class, john and i went to eat dinner in westwood. and we did have a good chat. it was about our futures and design and shit. it's great. someone who finally understands my aesthetic and just how cool it would be to have a metal kitchen! haha i also lost a bet to him about a radiohead track. i won't say what i the bet was for but lets just say it was pretty steep. at least for me. but u have to know me to understand. anyway, back to finishing my image manipulation photo. i have a lot of crap to finish tomorrow before i pick up kyla at the airport. woo! kyla is coming. i'm so excited. =)

website of the day: ankh7

this is what happens when i'm bored and home all alone. haha =/

beautiful disaster. that's what today has been. shit just keeps going wrong!!! i went to the dentist today which was fine. it's out in brentwood sorta near school. at least in that direction. but i drove my ass all the way back to near home to go to the halloween store only to find that what i was looking for wasn't right for my costume anyway! so then i drove all the way back to school only to find that all the mac labs were in use so i couldn't do my hw. so i went to 3rd street for a bit and spent money i shouldn't be spending. then realized at like 4:30 that i forgot my digital illustration files for class. so i had to drive all the way back home to get them and stick them on a cd-r. then drive all the way back to school. and mind u, at this point it's rush hour traffic. i got to school in time but i lost valuable time working on my quark project. so i worked on it while i was in class and got it done. saved it as a PDF like i needed to to print at home in color. saved it to my cd-r. only now i'm home and the fucking file is NOT working!! the cd-r is like busted. ugh. this wouldn't be a problem if the portable HD i bought would work. but no. it's not. so basically i think i'm gonna have to go to school tomorrow. get the file again. then during my break drive my ass back home in traffic to print it. cuz it's gotta be in color. god this blows. and no one is home now so i'm lonely. good lord. today ain't so hot. lemme tell u that. not to mention i was tired when i woke up cuz i had to get up earlier just cuz john was over and if he and i are both going to shower it takes longer. and he's a hard fucker to wake up! but he's so cute and has lovely eyes. not to mention he likes gawking at awesome websites as much as i do. so it's ok. haha anyway, done bitching.

website of the day: crashshop

well. john couldn't come over last nite cuz it took him a gross amount of time to take jerry home. they both live in the valley and as everyone should know by now, the valley is basically on fire. and so they had to drive way out of their way to go a round about way to get home. and so then it was like 2am and i was getting tired and i figured it wasn't worth it to him to come out here. especially since i wouldn't have been good company and i have class today. oh well. time to shower and go to school!

i think the beer did the trick. nothin like a good ole corona to make my face red and also inspire me to do some work. yes yes folks. i made great progress on my brochure for quark class. i decided to sit down and fold a piece of paper into a brochure. then i proceeded to take all the sections i needed to have in this fake brochure and i labeled the folds of the paper. then i decided what sort of graphics should go there and i was on my way. now, at least an hour later, i have come up with the following. 4 fake cd covers that will adorn the brochure since it's supposed to be for a line of charity cds. basically they gave us the name of the "band/artist" and we had to do with that what we please. so i came up with some cd names and then took photos from brighton. altered them. added typeface for the names of the bands and cd titles. and voila. here they are:

now all i have to do is actually make the brochure. i'll do that at school with the program. john already thinks i did way more work than need be. and i think that's true. but i had fun making these cd covers so who cares!

you know how earlier i mentioned that last night john almost said "i love you" to me. well i decided to call him on it so to speak by sticking this note on his car tonight. basically the note said that i wanted him to come over. which he wanted to do anyway cuz he called me before he saw the note. but at the bottom i wrote "i luh...bye." and so when he got the note he called me up right away and was like all flustered and cute. it was great. he felt he had to explain it to me. i didn't care. i didn't need an explanation. i know he doesn't love me. so it didn't matter. but it was great to hear him squirm. haha good stuff. i'm glad i wrote the note. and god, for a crappy ass note on notebook paper stuck to a car, it looked quite nice i have to say. nice layout and good looking "font" with my handwriting. haha i'm such a nerd. i look at websites and think about how they were made nicely. john and i do that together. it's fun. but totally nerdy. at least i am someone who agrees. cuz when i try and show that stuff to like rick or something, he usually rolls his eyes cuz he doesn't care and also doesn't appreciate the way the sites look the way i do.

i'm acting so weird today. first i wake up with no alarm at 10am. i get right down to work and finish a lot of crap. then i actually go to school at my own will. hang out with john. try to do more work but lose all will. call josh for the hell of it which i never do. come home. and now i can't focus. i'm overly hyperactive tonight. and now i'm drinking a corona! i NEVER drink beer for the hell of it? what am i doing? coronas are good tho. don't get me wrong. some of my fave bottled beer. but still. WHAT am i doing? i can't focus. and now john is coming over later. so for sure i won't be able to focus. gah!! oh well. at least i'm not mad or pissy. just scatterbrained. maybe tomorrow i'll be able to focus more. maybe it's all the damned ants running around this house. seeping into my brain when i'm sleeping. fucking with me.

i can't focus!!! someone is playing some SHITTY ass music. system of a down or some bullshit. and the artwork i have to work with for this assignment is butt ugly. the whole assignment is BORING. a brochure of a cd called "hands that help." and it's all like bullshit photos of soft hands and pears and bullshit. wtf is this? why can't we just make any ole music brochure? ugh! the midterm is a menu. i'll consult kyla on that one. but it will most likely be dull as fuck unless we can entirely create the whole thing. omg this music is sinfully bad. someone shoot me. i might just go home and say fuck it and do the work on wed. altho that only gives me like 5 hrs to finish it. ugh! god this blows. i hate this class. quark blows and the teacher gives us crappy assignments. i lost all the motivation i had today. how sad is that? i guess it only comes in short spurts. =/

i feel weird. i had a weird night last night. and then today i woke up refreshed and ready to work. i got all my shit done for digital illustration class and in record time. i punched out those road signs like no other. and they don't look half bad either. i'm almost done with my image manipulation shit but i gotta ask the teacher about how to do something. i'm at school right now. john just left for class and i'm going to work on my quark shit now. fun fun. <------ intense sarcasm right there. we have new G5's here in one of the labs and so i'm working on one of them. fucking rad shit. they are fast. and they look badass too. anyway, i feel weird tho. not sure why. like shit is off. i dunno. last night i felt the same way. it's all about john really. and then he called me at like 4am to say goodnight even tho i was already asleep. and he ended it weird cuz he said, "ok bye. goodnight. i luh...bye." yea. he almost goofed right there. haha it was weird. not that that is making me feel weird. cuz that's not it. it's just...i dunno. whatever. i can't focus but i have to. i have to get this shit done. fucking hell. oh and here is a good distraction.

ISO50

a nicely and cleanly designed online portfolio of a guy from sacramento. good use of flash. great print and photography work. just good stuff overall. maybe each day i can have a "website of the day" sorta thing since now that john gave me a link to a website with loads of other links, i'll be checking out shit all the time. as it is i have a list of other rad looking websites. i just don't want to laundry list them. yea, maybe i'll do that. "website of the day."

i don't want to do my work!!! i'm sick of working. but it's so early in the night i must trudge on. bleh. i can't motivate myself. i just can't. it's hot. i've suddenly become cranky. someone save me. or at least give me an excuse not to do my work.

it's only been about a week since john and i started dating but i think i already really like him. it's weird. usually u like meet a person. go on one date. it goes well. then u play the whole waiting game. call and shit. a week later u go on another date. and then it progresses from there. but it's been like excellerated pace for us. it's so weird. i like it but it's weird. i feel so skeptical tho. cuz shit like this NEVER happens to me. it's never THIS easy. so i fear something is going to go wrong and then i'll get hurt in the end. so i'm scared. but if i get scared like that then i'll never get anywhere. so i'll just let it all go with the flow and see what happens.

on another note. the fucking post office sent me back my letter to jason. HELLO FUCKTARDS, it's addressed to JAPAN on the front. how could it be from japan with an american postage stamp? stupid fucking retards. UGH! i'm going to the post office with the letter and bitching at them til they send it to japan for me again. no charge. i can't waste another stamp and envelope. i bet they'd fuck it up again anyway. goddamn retards.

sitting home on a friday night painting for color theory class. listening to some good music. feeling the vibe. it's nice. meanwhile, the boy across town is doing a somewhat similar thing. getting deep into the creative designer zone and working on a project for another class. will the boy and girl meet tonight over apple pie? only time will tell.

sometimes i feel like i'm back in high school just cuz of the kind of school i go to. some people are younger. some aren't. but like it's small. smaller than my high school actually. and when john and i hang out together in this one area, i feel like we are teenagers, hanging out in the hallways making out. we aren't exactly doing that, but that's the overall feeling i have. and it's sorta funny. not to mention we can be sorta goofishly childish sometimes. it's all fun tho. and he's coming over in a second just to say hi on his way to his dad's. yay! =) maybe i'll get to see him later after rick's celebrations.

ooh. i love buying new cute underwear or bras. it's so fun. i just bought some online from american apparel. i really like their basic design. their clothes are plain and comfortable. if i had never been sent a link to get a free pair of underwear that one time, i'd never know about this company. they are based out of LA too. i like their stuff. and their website is really clean and simple. nice nice. anyway, today i went to the ENT to get my nose looked at. same ole same ole. turbinates are swollen. i got some nasal spray cuz i'm not sure i want to get the laser procedure again. we'll see. and now i'm doing my laundry. fun fun. i hate that shit. i told josh i'd call him today to maybe hang out but i can't really do anything til i at least finish my laundry and shower. which won't be for like 30 minutes. and i'm tired. bleh. whatever.

i'm falling. falling hard. someone catch me. catch me if u can.

gah. i have to paint stuff for color theory. i don't want to. this is going to be a mess. and i want to paint my nails too. and make rick a card. ugh! being with john takes up a lot of time. and i fear he will feel, or maybe already does feel, the same way. and then when the dreadful "talk" comes around, he won't want to date and then i'll be sad and stuff. cuz i feel the attachment growing as we spend more time together. gah!! what is going on? and how did this all happen? and why does half my shit have to smell like him?? =P

oh my god. i am seriously forming a major inferiority complex with john. i think someone asked me if i'd ever want to date or marry someone in the same profession. i think i replied saying i wouldn't mind it cuz we could share similar interests and we could bounce ideas off each other. ok. fuck that shit. he's so much better than me at all this stuff, that it's giving me a huge complex. i won't even go into it. we spent the day together first having breakfast then coming here to work on homework. and then part of the time he showed me some of his past work. good god. much better than i can do. not to mention he's worked for some really awesome people and whatnot. anyway, he's gone now cuz i have class. i have no idea what we "are" and i won't worry about that either. altho i said before that i would be fine just being friends with him. not anymore. it's gone past that. into the deep unknown. haha also he's helped me a bit with my PDA fears too. which i think is cool. i think at least a few of his friends here at school know we are "dating." eesh. u know how i am about that shit. haha at least he's suffering through my period for the first time early on in all of this. lucky him. =) and i realize now. yea he's not a punkass like he looks. a bit cocky at times. but i guess he has somewhat of a right to be since he does good work and does work for some decent people. but yea. he's cool. i definitely like him, but i fear no one else will cuz they will get that punkass vibe at first. oh well. whatever. let's not get ahead of ourselves anyway. and goddamn it's cold in here all of a sudden. i have been in this room a good portion of the day with john and it was totally fine. now i'm practically shivering cuz the AC is totally jacked up too high. UGH! oh yea, i can't call him "AI john" anymore cuz that's too dificult. i even switched it in my fone cuz it was weird. so now he's just "john" and the previous one i'll call "SC john." just to make it easier on me and everyone else. and one other thing. i already feel like i don't see my friends as much as a result of john. btwn john and hw i have no other time it seems. and it sucks. i miss brian!! and i never see my roommates. altho that's not totally my fault. it's just a matter of schedule conflicts. but still. =/ and how did this all happen anyway? and so fast? it's mindboggling really. and this is the most relationshippy i've been in awhile. so strange for me.

i'm SOOOOO tired. and now i'm caffeinated but still tired. u know. that sorta like fake awakeness. ugh! i just saw john and now i'm about to start image manipulation class. i'm gonna give this kid steve a ride home too cuz his car broke down. ugh. i just want to leave. i'm sooo tired!!

wow. i haven't talked on the fone that long in ages. i think i was on for like at least 3 hrs. i used to do that shit all the time in high school but now i never talk that long. ever. good lord. this john kid is definitely interesting if nothing else. today at first i was starting to feel sorta weird about him and everything. felt a bit suffocated. then i felt like maybe it was all wrong anyway. and now after having such a long conversation with him, i am only now beginning to see what sort of person he is. and he's just about as weird as i am. on the face of it all he seems sorta like this assholish slick guy. but really he's just an artsy kid trying to get along in this world and do his art. he's really into his music more than anything else. like i said, i really don't know where this is going at all. i don't know if he really wants a relationship or what. but i think that i'm actually ok with whatever happens now that we had this long talk. only for the simple fact that i feel a lot more at ease with him. at first i was like putting up this wall. this wall to block out emotion in case i got hurt. but now i feel like we've reached this level where if he doesn't want to date or whatever, i could be just as fine with whatever happened.

i didn't get to see kill bill!! it was sold out. so we saw intolerable cruelty. sorry brian!! we had no choice. intolerable cruelty was alright. basically i felt the way the reviewers felt. i love the coen bros. don't get me wrong. but this one just wasn't as good as like fargo or blood simple. oh well. it was enjoyable at least. i still must see kill bill!!! anyway, AI john (who might have to just be called john soon and i'll switch the other one to something else) is cool. i like him. i'm not quite sure where this is going so i won't divulge details and then jinx myself. but let's just say i'm having a good time. =)

why am i so socially retarded around new people and people i like?

wow. tonight was quite fun. i was supposed to go out with AI john but then it sorta fell thru and i was a slight bitch and sorta flaked only cuz he didn't call me back in time and other plans were being formulated around the house. so then i called him and told him that and we had this awesome fiesty conversation. god it was great. i really enjoyed it. we're going out to see kill bill tomorrow as a result. well today technically. which by the way, is ABERDEEN'S 12th birthday!!! happy birthday aberdeen. aww, i love my teddy bear. =) anyway, so tonight i went out with brian, michael, emily and adam to weiland's for beer and cheap food. that was fun. then we went to the big foot lodge and the roost in los feliz. well, me, brian, and michael. we didn't talk to anyone really but it was good fun. i enjoyed staring at the cute boys and not talking to them cuz i am lame. haha brian said the dewey eyed one in the corner was checking me out which was the one i was checking out. but alas we never spoke. whatever. i'm over it. haha then we went to fred 62 for post drinking food and of course we ran into john and his buddies. not AI john, but the original john. god he's so cute. so weird. but so attractive. =) so we ate with them and now we are home. safe and sound. i'm tired. and i've got a lot of hw to do. ugh! but whatever. it was a good night. so it was worth it.

brett came over last night and we rented spun. only he distracted me so much that i didn't get to finish the film =P and on another related yet unrelated note, i just called AI john to see if he'd go out with me tonight. but i got a voicemail. i hate voicemail. so basically now he has to call me back. if he doesn't then i ain't calling again. and when i see him in class on thursday i'll be like, "wtf man. i called u. u asked me when u'd see me again and i called u. u didn't call back. i guess u really don't give a shit." haha ok so i won't say that. but that's how i'll feel and i'll say something of that sort in a much nicer and milder way. haha

looks like i'm going out with em! she wants to do something since her hellish no car, no bus work week is over. and i dont want to let her down. so we'll do something when she gets home. =) on another note, my image manipulation teacher sent us our first assingment via email. and here is what the last two lines of it said:

"This assignment spans a couple of weeks so I expect you to do an amount of work that is representative of to amount of time you were given for the assignment. Translation: Don't turn in some quick garbage that you whipped up in an hour."

fucking great. no bullshitting with this guy. i like it. he seems stern in class too. and since he's young, i can see him totally saying that. haha

u know what? these flowers that AI john gave me are actually really cute. sitting here on my desk. they make me happy. prolly cuz they are so small and colorful. anyway, prolly staying home tonight. alone. cuz it seems like no one is here. rick and lo are gone. emily is gone cuz the whole MTA strike mess. she basically doesn't live here as a result. and i think michael's gone off to work. so it's just me and my art homework. i feel a bit tired too. maybe i'll just veg. cuz i do want to ask AI john out again. but not tonight. too soon. plus i'm too tired. maybe tomorrow.

isn't aberdeen cute? i love my teddy bear. he's wearing rick's tuque. he looks so cute! it's his birthday on sunday. he turns a whopping 12. =) getting up there in teddy bear years. but he's still got some spunk left in him. haha

well. i just wrote kyla this long email about last night and so i actually don't feel like rewriting it all. so let's just be concise. AI john (just to distinguish from the other john i know) asked me to go out with him and his friends to some club in hollywood. so i did. he picked me up and we went. i saw a lot of old SC kids who i hadn't seen in ages. drank. tried to dance to the 80s music. watched john and his friend dance really well. went to mel's diner afterward. received what seemed to be, flirting gestures from john. saw stevie wonder at a gas station. then john drove me home. oh and gave me 4 flowers that he picked from his garden. cut and bundled with a twisty tie. we all know i hate that cliche gesture. flowers! but i rationalized it by thinking that he didn't go buy them. they aren't perfect at all. they are 4 different flowers with 4 different colors to them. and they are really small and fit in my small cup now sitting on my desk. i think i'll call him and ask him out again sometime. cuz he seems cool. i think i could like him. he's fun. we'll see. i don't wanna get too deep into this before there's even anything to get into. oh and he said i'm hard to read. yep. that's me. don't give out the signals. it all relates back to my insecurities. fun fun.

i can't breathe!!! my nose is all plugged up. like really badly. and not due to a cold. just my poor nose is fucked up. ugh! the teacher liked my ad and so did others in the class as we went around and did critiques of the work. john said it was the best one up there. haha i wonder if he really meant that or just half meant that. altho i did like mine a lot. it was up there in the top ones i'm sure. but anyway. 2 hrs til my school week is over. woo! what shall i do this weekend? hmm...

i FINALLY finished that damn color wheel. i swear that was the most stressful coloring assignment i've ever had. i would scan it and post it, but it wouldn't pick up all the subtle differences in shades and tints. and so what's the point? if u can't see the ever so slight differences, then u can't see the actual difficulty in the assignment. nevertheless, i finished it. i also finished my ad layout for graphic design class. i have to go to school and actually do it in quark, but i did a mock up with photoshop and i think it looks decent. i based it off of various clubs. a little of this and a little of that. names changes and whatnot. the images should look familar to some. ;) oh and trust me, with many more layouts to make, others will be making appearances in my work. it's only a matter of time. and if i have a good enough image of you. i think michael will be my next "victim." haha the one thing i can't decide on this ad, is which version to go with. cuz i have two. this one, and one without the drink specials. but since this assignment is an ad and not so much a flyer (in my mind there is a distinction), i feel the drink specials make it more complete. without them, the ad seems a bit empty. but maybe i am wrong. any thoughts?

the cute guy isn't in class. how sad. the one that i don't know his name but he saw me drive back and forth in the parking lot last week. yea. that guy. oh well whatever. the sorta cute guy, john, from graphic design class passed by the door just before class started. i feel like he may have seen me thru the little window. i'm not sure. whatever. i'm hungry and cold. i gotta get home!!

my dvd of the 1st season of the office just came today. yay!!! =) AND, my ballot to try and get wimbledon tickets also came. i bet they flew together on the same plane. haha

lots of birthdays this month. it just occurred to me.

wakerly -- 1st
tyler -- 3rd
lawrence -- 13th
perry -- 14th
john ross -- 14th
aberdeen - 19th
rick's mom -- 19th
tinna -- 20th
rick -- 23rd
joey -- 25th
deanu -- 26th

parent's anniversary -- 20th

u know what also occurred to me? i didn't take ANY photos while i was in SF. except like 3 scenic ones. no people ones. =( oops. bad jen. BAD!

stick a fork in me cuz i'm DONE!!! woo wee. 18 illustrations. not all the best looking but i tried. i saw some guy's work today in the lab. oh boy. he's fucking good. but then i saw some other guy's who wasn't that good. so yea. i don't feel too bad about my work. i tried and that's really just about the best i can do. i suppose if i poured way more hours into it, i might be able to come up with stuff that is a bit better. but not much. cuz really, i'm just not that good at drawing. especially on the computer. and definitely with all the constraints of this project. so yea. i welcome any and all comments on these badboys. =)

dad found my friendster profile and had "questions." lovely. whatever. and now i'm having dessert with brian and gino. it was supposed to just be me and brian but gino wanted to come too. so no more "romantic dessert" with brian. haha his words, not mine. oooh, that boy torments me just about as much as eric. sometimes even more. it just depends on my mood. haha

3 more illustrations to do and i'm DONE! woo. i finished some in the lab today. some aren't so hot but whatever. it's hard to do 18 really creative drawings from such basic shapes. so yea. i'll finish that tonight. then my color wheel. and tomorrow i'll do my quark project and then i am DONE. woo! done with the old hw. of course i'll have new stuff. but that's ok. i have this stuff for design class that's really meticuluous yet creative. it's fun. working with letterforms and whatnot. it's a bit harder to accomplish at home cuz my workspace is limited. but it should be cool. i just fear i'll work too hard on it cuz i'll want it to look tip top. and that will suck up all my time. photoshop class is about to start. i think we are scanning photos or some shit. i'm not sure. i brought a bunch of photos cuz i don't even know what kind would be best suited for this project. we'll just have to wait and see. i think my insidetrack coach guy thinks i'm insane. haha i talk too much i gather. at least in comparison to the others in the room at the time. and he looks sorta like john favreau or however u spell his name. u know, the guy from swingers. i think this guy, aaron is his name, thinks my social life is sorta too chaotic too. maybe not. can't really get a handle on what sort of social life he has. but i talk a lot about how i have this to do and that to do and i bet it sounds like i have no time for work. i almost wanted to say, "well at least i have no boyfriend to clutter my life up more with." but then i'd just rant and rave about not having a bf and how i want one. and how i like "this boy" and "that boy." crap like that. haha he doesn't need to know about my boy woes and how i like a boy who lives hundreds of miles away and etc etc etc. altho i feel by the end of this journey with aaron (i presume i see him for at least the rest of the semester), i'm sure some of it will leak out. or if i started dating someone from AI (the world will have to turn some miracles) then i'd prolly have boy woes surrounding how my bf is around here too much or whatever. haha anyway, on another different note, the guy next to me is the same guy i sat next to last week and he's got a blog too. and we are both making entries at the same time. haha

school is definitely going to keep me busy. which is good. i like that. but i don't like it when people around me just expect me to be free all the time. to chat on the fone or go out or whatever. i have work to do and i have to get it done before i go having a long ass conversation on the fone about why the world sucks and crap like that. bah. i think after this week i'll be ok. cuz i'll have the proper amount of weekend time to work on my hw which i didn't have this past weekend. but being in norcal was awesome so i wouldn't trade that in. and i'm not complaining about it. what i am complaining about is other people bothering me. i know i have stuff to do and i know it means sacrificing fun time. but i'm willing to do that. and too bad if that means i am cutting into your free time with me. deal with it. cuz i am.

home. got back around 5:45pm. made good time. like 5.5 hours. woo! a bit tired. must do hw before going out for lo's bday.

great weekend!! soon to be over. i'm at home and i'm almost about to hit the road back to LA. looks like it's gonna be a hot day. yikes! yesterday i left ky's around 1pm and got back to the city around 3. (and the night before her dad washed my car!!!) dropped my stuff off at home and went down the street to the camera store with my dad to print some digis from asia. the guy that worked there was really cute and i think if dad wasn't there we could have had a nice chat. i felt it in his looks. but no. one of the photos fucked up so he refunded all the money. that was quite nice of him. he was a very helpful boy. dad thought he was cute too. like for me that is. anyway, no bother. he lives here. why can't the boys at samy's be that cute and helpful?? haha anyway, then i went home for just a brief bit before taking off to mel's.

good ole mel. house and everything is still the same. i love going there cuz i feel like time has stood still from when we left each other after high school. except for matt is around and they have more dogs. but that's about all that's changed. so it's really comforting. hung out with mel and matt for a bit. had a few bites of food. then headed off to the shotwell boys' place.

when i got there we putzed around for a bit. just chatting about whatever. then went off for some thai dinner. found this great place like 5 blocks from their house. my dish was delicious. a bit of a kick to it but good nevertheless. matt and james helped me clean up my plate! then we went back and decided what else to do. if it had not been a sunday, i'm sure we would have hit up a bar or something since these boys are not shy about bars and drinking. but alas it was sunday and so we went to blockbuster and rented confessions of a dangerous mind which was a bit disappointing. i think i expected more. it wasn't bad tho. eric fully fell asleep during the movie and started snoring!! haha oh eric. so cute. but let's just not even touch that issue with a 10 ft pole. even tho i love his quirky little mannerisms and obscure looks. gah! he torments me. whatever. anyway. moving on. after that we watched 3 episodes of the the office which were brilliant! then it was like 2am and we were falling asleep. so i crashed on the couch cuz it was more convenient than driving home sleepy. woke up this morning BEFORE matt. and last night he was all talking about how he'd be up for work before i woke and whatnot. ha! left their place and went to tully's to get some coffee. oooh tully's!!! and now i'm here. ready to shower and leave. back in LA just in time for lo's birthday!! wee!! =)

went to dinner with ky's fam at this place called poor red's. interesting place. limited menu. steak, ribs, bbq chicken, ham, and something else. i had the chicken of course. the portions were large and the food was just "ok." it was for the experience. lots of country folk there. the bar out front is where the action is. the drunken blonde chick with braces all over the men. haha they have this drink made with this alcohol called galliano or something. the drink tasted sorta like black licorice. not strong. but subtle taste. and it's frozen. sorta like slushy consistancy. interesting. and then we came back here and watched the end of the SC game. then ate our caramel apples together. god they were good!

still at ky's. went out with her dad and one sister and we went to apple hill. it was fun. country-ish. we got a bunch of caramel apples and apple donuts. then we went wine tasting at like 5 wineries. and now we are all tired. so it's time to relax with some MTV and stuff.

woo! in norcal now. at ky's for the night. going to some apple place and stuff tomorrow with her and the fam. good times. good to see ky again! we went to some dessert place in sac. it was cute and fun. the cakes were rich!! i found my way to her house the first time. no turning around. u'd have to see where she lives to understand but basically it's really really easy to overshoot the mark. and i FINALLY got it right the first time. woo! it's cuz i figured out how to remember where her place is. anyway, good times. i stayed up late last night doing illustrations but i'm half done so that's good.

well. the teacher in that quark class goes slow which is nice. it gave me time to chat with my neighbors. one being the john guy. and by the end of the night i had walked around with him during one of our breaks. chatted about various things. found out he had a chinese ex-gf, that he throws parties with people in beverly hills...or rather, homely hills, some area near there that i am unaware of. he also walked me to my car when it was further than his and gave me his number! haha this guy may just be a bit TOO slick for me. he slipped in a comment which basically let me know that he could be interested. either that or he just appreciates the way i look. haha and i found him on friendster. and his friends are asian girls! haha i knew he was on there cuz i saw his screen. i also saw his email address. oh i am slick too! haha just not in the same way. anyway, whatever. he's throwing a party this weekend and i'm going home. so nothing to do there. and in case anyone was wondering where my obsession with eric went now that i see all these cute boys left and right. let me assure u that it's tucked away nicely at the back of my brain. ready to resurface if need be. haha

yikes! ok so this class i'm in right now is called graphic design studio 2 or whatever and it's learning quark which is basically a layout program. learning to do layout to print stuff. we have an assignment and this program i don't have at home. so i guess i'll have to do my work here which means i'll prolly actually have to be coming on time when i don't have class. like wed mornings. or mondays. or fridays. ugh! and i'm going home this weekend. ooh this will be tight. i might have to come back early to get my shit done. i think this school is going to be a lot of work and therefore stress me out in that regard. but at least it's stuff i want to learn. altho EVERYONE says that quark is a shitty program and this class is prolly going to be a bore. haha oh well. whatever. there's one sorta cute guy sitting right next to me. his name is john. he's a web design major too but he's in his 4th quarter. i think he dropped some classes along the way. whatever. and i've seen some cute guys running around. so maybe there is hope. haha anyway, i think i'll be up late tonight trying to get as much of my illustrator assignment done as possible. then i'll do my color wheel up at home since i can. then come back here on monday and do my quark assignment and finish my illustrator one. it will be tight. i'll have to reschedule my dental appt. haha oh and i think i already know what i want for xmas. or maybe i can just get my parents to get it for me as a "school need." a portable hard drive. nothing too huge. but something that has a usb port and connects to both macs and pcs. cuz i gotta transport all this work and these files and i'll be damned if i have to keep burning cd-rs for every class EVERY week! oh and the teacher in this class is a younger middle-aged WOMAN!

i have soooo many art supplies i don't know what to do. the OCD is kicking in REAL hard. ugh! i think i'll have one pouch for pencils, erasers, etc. one pouch for paint, brushes, etc. one pouch for pens and markers. and one pouch for my tape, ruler, scissors, triangle, etc. i suppose i could have a huge art box but that isn't easily transportable. i'm thinking my current backpack isn't setup right. i might have to switch to the messenger bag method. i've still got my old one from freshman year. we shall see. it's crazy. i feel like i live in the school store. every class i go there and buy more stuff! but no required books so far. just suggested books. so that's fucking rad. my bag is just full of art supplies, sketchbooks, pads, paper, etc.

anyway, so one class down and one to go. earlier today i had color theory. i like our teacher. he's awesome. funny man from rome, italy. he's lived here over 20 yrs and still has an accent. sounds like he wants to get rid of it cuz he said, "i've been here so many years now and i still can't shake it." haha his name is really italian sounding too. but i won't write it down in case someone finds this thing and tells him i mentioned him or whatever. even tho it's all positive anyway! the class sounds like it will be rad. lots of painting and color mixing. our first assignment tho is to color a color wheel. and OH MY GOD, it's stressful. it's like way harder than it looks. all these shades and tints. my god. and we're using color pencils. so if u fuck up, i can't really fix it. the eraser only lifts so much! the semi-cute guy from orientation is in my class. somehow i just knew he would be. cuz he's graphic design but we take the same basic classes. his name is noah. i know his last name but i'm not gonna write it. he's quite tall and skinny. sorta got the reddish hued hair. kinda messy too. but he's not too bad looking. i chatted with him in the store after class as we all gathered our numerous brushes and whatnot. i'll try and sit next to him next week since this week he came into class late so there was no way to deal with that.

anyway, i'm in the mac lab next door to the one i was in last night! rad. easy to remember. this last and final class is called graphic design studio or something like that. and i guess it means design on the computer cuz here we are. so 3 computer classes and 2 art/design ones. not bad. i think next quarter will be all computer. actually, i think after this it's all computer. which is cool cuz i'm comfortable on the computer. but uncool cuz my eyes will go nutty. but it will also mean a lot less materials. cuz really the plethora of stuff is for my artsy classes where we actually produce physical work. these computer classes just want us to have cd-rs, sketchbooks, and that's about it. anyway, i'm gonna bet the teacher is also a middle-aged man like last night. the computer people are usually middle-aged it seems. prolly cuz older people aren't too computer savvy. which is the class with the color theory man. he's older and admittedly not good with computers. hehe

this is all i've done so far. 4 drawings. 4 of 18! it's hard stuff. like i said. we start with the one shape in the middle and build from there. but we have to cover things up to alter shapes and whatnot cuz we are limited to what we can use. i think i'll try and sketch out some more tomorrow in my downtown. i guess that's why all these classes require sketchbooks! anyway, it's hard but fun in a challenging way. it forces me to really think a lot and i like it. sooo much more than business classes. i wonder if i'll see the cute boy tomorrow. hmm...maybe. if so, i'll be sure to at least say hi. maybe even ask his fucking name! haha

hmm...this drawing on the computer with only 3 shapes in black and white is HARD! i've only got 2 done. and i have 16 more to go. it's even worse because u have to start with a square, triangle, or circle that is dead center in your square box and you have to somehow incorporate it into your image. u can block out parts of the shape but not all of it. and you can't lay anything under it so everything must be made around it because he doesn't want us using the layers function. this is harder than it seems. the examples i saw that people did looked really good too. it's hard for me to draw on paper let alone on the computer. but i push on. some more ideas have got to strike me sooner or later.

so. second day of class is done. only that one class today. digital illustration. basically we are learning how to use illustrator really well. which is awesome cuz i don't know anything about it. oh and yes, he teacher is a middle-aged man. after one class session i already learned things i didn't know at all. we already have an assignment that's due next week. i think it's gonna be fun. coming up with pictures from really normal shapes. exciting. we have to do 18 of them tho. i feel the creativity may lack after awhile. we'll see. there's one cute guy in that class and i sat next to him. i forgot him tho cuz i wasn't paying attn. oops! he's a second quarter animation student. i remember that much! we said some words here and there to each other cuz i was sitting next to him and we would ask each other about the stuff we were learning. but of course as we all left the class, i had the biggest blunder he could witness. well not really. but here's what happened:

so we all leave the class and i go to my car which is on the 3rd floor of the structure cuz that's where AI kids park if they have a card key which i do. so i go to my car and the little arm thing that i'm supposed to swipe my card for is up already. so i forget to swipe the card and then realize, oh wait, i gotta swipe or else i can't get out of the main gate. cuz they are linked. u have to swipe both to make it work. so i turn around but this guy asks me what is wrong and says that i don't need to swipe this card and the main gate will still work. so i figure he must know cuz he's been here longer than me. so i go all the way down to the main gate and pass the cute guy standing there smoking. i can't get out of the gate. OF COURSE! so i back my car up and the whole while the cute guy is there. i hike my ass back up to the 3rd floor of the structure and swipe the card. go back down to the main gate only to find the guy in front of me's card isn't working either! so i have to back up so he can back up. and the cute guy is still there watching this. and says something to me and i yell back. so then i go to swipe and lo and behold, it doesn't work. but now i've got like 3 cars behind me. so i have to make them all back up so i can back up! and i get my car out of the way and the cute guy says, "you're making a traffic jam!" in this joking way. and i yell back, "yeah i know! but i don't know what to do. i went up and swiped my car up on the 3rd floor. etc etc." so then i ask the security guard what to do and he tells me to go to the vistor exit. so i do and i say goodbye to the cute guy. now i don't know why he was standing there. was he waiting for his ride? his gf? what? i don't know. i almost asked actually but i didn't. anyway, so that's my story and there is a cute guy in class. not majorly cute, but cute. i actually saw him yesterday and thought he was cute but didn't know i would have class with him. anyway, that's it. this class sounds fun. and i have two more tomorrow. woo! eager to learn.

my new ear jewelry came today and surprisingly my 8g tubes fit in my ear. well one lobe. the other one it doesn't fit so i have to stretch it a bit. but my god. i had no idea the hole in my right ear was so large. anyway, whatever. soon they will match and all will be well. i am stretching no further. since they will be even. i'm thinking of getting another regular hole in my right ear so i can wear a ring that connects the two holes. but that's easy cuz it's just a normal ear hole. not enlarged. not fancy. just a 3rd hole in the right ear. we'll see.

this school is really connected. my god. every other room is a room full of computers. it fucking rocks. my image manipulation class is in a PC lab and this digital illustration class is in a mac lab. a NEW mac lab. new flatscreens and all. woo! cross platform learning in one semester. oh i already recognize someone from the image manipulation class. rad. i bet that's cuz i'm with a bunch of second quarter students. makes sense. anyway, let's see if this teach is a man or woman. young or old. i'm banking on a middle-aged man. i'll let u know if i'm right.

sweet sweet lord. i got my old scanner to work! now i can return my dad's when i go home this weekend. woo! =) and now i have this gap on my floor which i think will now be my art corner.

ok. so it's official aaarnold is the new gov. it's on the front page of the times and it's disgusting. i'm not one to talk politics cuz i feel i don't know enough about them to really speak at length. and i now feel quite bad about not voting in this election. i know my one vote wouldn't have mattered, but if everyone says that then this shit happens. i fault it to being registered to an address that i am no longer at and therefore don't get the info. i have to re-register. i want to register for my home address and do absentee, but then that means i would vote on stuff for SF which i won't know anything about since i don't live there. so i can figure out what is best since i move all the time! i also fault it to being around the time when i was in asia. nevertheless, yes i fucked up and should have voted.

irregardless though, this recall bullshit is just that, bullshit. ok, surely davis is a shit governor. but to recall him to basically say, "yes. we the voting public thought this man would be good to re-elect less than one year ago, and now we realize we have really made an error because he sucks. oops! our mstake. we should do something about that. let's throw him out." wanting to recall davis because he sucks is not a valid reason to recall a governor. he didn't so anything illegal. if he did, that would be different. so recalling him sets a precendant that u are willing to recall ANY governor, or other elected official for that matter, if they turn out to suck. that's just a mistake right there. i suppose people could start a recall against aaarnold now. he didn't do anything wrong, but hells bells, 50 some odd percent don't like him! that's enough to get a recall. why not and try and throw him out? it's just ridiculous in my opinion. ridiculous that the fucking terminator is our governor and that we had to even elect anyone in the first place. ridiculous that larry flynt got 15,000+ votes, gary coleman got 12,000+, and angelyne (of ALL people!!) got 2,000+. i mean, come on people. it's like a fucking rat race. ugh! ok that's my 2 cents. or maybe 3 since it was a little long. haha i won't be really speaking about this anymore and if u criticize my logic, that's fine. we are all entitled to our own opinions.

wow. i'm tired. it was a long day. and now i have all this stuff too. and i don't know where to put it. the OCD in me is really kicking in. big time. i have all this large art stuff and no place to stick it. i feel i need more shelves or something. an art corner of sorts. gah! what to do? and aaaaarnold just won for governor. ugh! the state will die. haha at least i met some ppl today. on a brighter note. haha sasha and steve. yes, a boy AND a girl. and both with S names. sasha in my design class. she seems nice. i don't think we have craploads in common but it's nice to talk to someone in class. she's from ohio and she just moved out here. she's an interior design major. steve is in my image manipulation class and he started to talking to me so i chatted back. he doesn't seem like my kind of guy either but he was nice to me. he's a video production major. i don't know where he is from cuz he did most of the asking. but he was aware that SC has a good business program. i shall see what folks i meet tomorrow night in my digital illustration class.

omg. this session is SOOOO boring. we are trying to just use the photoshop tools and i can't draw on a computer so this is BORING. we aren't allowed to import images to mess with so my options are limited. and it looks like we aren't getting out early like the other class. UGH! this class WILL teach me things but not today. gah.

woo. i'm at AI right now. in image manipulation. we're in a PC lab. fun fun. i can post and do work and hear the lecture and everything. haha my first class was fundamentals of design. it sounds fun and interesting. no books. just lots of art supplies. lots of meticulous work. sounds like my style. lines and squares. straightedges. all that jazz. fun fun. i think i will like it a lot. =) and i met with my insidetrack coach who is supposed to help make my "college experience" easier and organized and help me obtain my goals and stuff. blah blah. we relate well. he's into film. he realizes i'm no kid. we had good laughs and i asked him just about as much as he asked me. and we almost went over time! actually we would have if it weren't for the fact that i had to run to this class. the teacher in this class is young whereas my design teacher is old. the one in this class graduated with an MA in animation from...ding ding ding...USC! my design teacher on the other hand is from NY and he talks slow. haha anyway, i'm excited to learn!! and i haven't said that in a LONG time. and no cute boys in my classes. a random few standing around the campus but i doubt i'll really interact with people outside of class since basically i just drive here. go to class. have my break. which i can't decide what to do. eat for sure. but perhaps bring a book and read. go hang out at some nearby coffeeshop. can't decide. go to the next class. leave. so not much outside interaction with kids. which is ok. whatever.

and here i didn't think i'd do anything tonight. well, i mean, anything involving leaving the house. but now here i am. sitting in my skirt and top with my crimped hair bored. well, not entirely. basically today was a day of chores. and then dan came over for dinner. and that was fun. i felt somewhat distracted and our interaction wasn't great. sadly. but oh well. sometimes we are just off. it happens. and right as dan was about to leave, john called. he wanted to go out. so i did. and i wasn't prepared cuz my hair was up while it was wet and therefore when i took it down it was all crimped. anyway, we went out. slow night. but good to see john again. he's always a character. always attracting women left and right. and then always complimenting me like he wants to get in my pants. but then he doesn't. or maybe he does and i'm oblivious. whatever. no bother. i'm home now and bored and tried to convince brian to hang out with me but i know it won't work. boo. hiss. boo. hiss. i guess i should sleep soon anyway. school awaits. first day of school. wee!

the man came to fix my toilet and sink. finally!! no more noise. the toilet needed a whole new part. it seemed messy. i saw some water issues going down over there. but it's all fixed. woo! now it's time to shower and run errands with emily. gotta get some lunch food for school! haha i feel like a little kid. bringing my lunch to school. i should get a cute lunch pale and everything. haha

late night chats with the roomies are always good. =) but now i bet my sleep will be really fucked up! =(

i just saw school of rock and it was quite cute and fun. it's a feel good movie. the kids were cute and everyone looked like they had fun making the movie. and that's a good thing. i saw two movies this weekend which is like a record for me these days. fun fun. i like movies. i'm just always so lazy about seeing them. but i knocked out two that really wanted to see. yay! i doubt i'll see my life without me cuz it's a bit depressing and i doubt i'll get around to it. i think i'd honestly rather pay to see lost in translation again. who knows. we'll see. the next thing i want to see is love actually but that's not for like a month. and of course the final chapter of the matrix.

tonight was really fun! me and rick went to our friend, ryan's, 310 shoot. for those of you who aren't savvy to SC lingo, 310 is short for CTPR 310 which is the cinema class where you make a 15 min, b&w, non-syncsound film. so basically ryan called us up to be extras for this "party" type scene. basically it was more like at an art gallery. all this art on the fake walls and whatnot. we had to dress up for the occasion. like button down shirts for the guys and evening gowns or nice top and skirt for the girls. so we went and met some people and had fun. the director of the piece was cute. christian was his name. shorter guy. not terribly thin but cute. cute face. rick agreed. matt (ryan's roommate and our old neighbor) was there too as the AD. matt is so cute. he's really funny. we talked a lot with him. and there was this guy named luke who was the DP. he looked a shitload like thom yorke from radiohead. like really really dead on. or damn near close. it was eerie. a mix btwn thom and skatebot josh. and then there was this guy named tom. he actually works with michael and michael took his shift tonight. so we chatted with tom. and then after the shoot was over we went to the bar to see michael and tom went too.

the bar is rad looking. very posh. if i didn't know michael i'd feel weird there. plus it's a gay bar. but it looks cool. and the bathroom is neat. some of the men that work there are sleezy. at least to me. like the guy who greets u at the door. WAY too emphatic. did i spell that right? when we left he was like, "ok sweetie. you come back anytime now." as he was patting my back. just DON'T do that. there is no need! and even tom. i dunno about that guy. at first i was like. hmm. he's cool. whatever. then michael tells us that he's got a gf who he won't marry but they are having a kid. and then tom came in and we were chatting. just the two of us. and we started to talk about my top. and so he found excuses to touch it and my back. anyway, whatever. bleh. bars. i wanted to go back to there to have this sandwich but i didn't see it on the menu and everything else is so expensive. so i dunno. and i want a bloody mary now that tom mentioned it. cuz i wanted one on the plane in asia but i didn't want to order that in front of my parents. so now i want one. but not as a nighttime going out cocktail. more like a nice afternoon drink. before the going out. anyway, i should try and sleep. i think i will be able to tonight! woo!

woowee! i'm excited to start school. =) i went to AI today for orientation and it's weird cuz this is the first time i've done this shit alone. at first i didn't realize it, but the last time i did an academic orientation, my parents were there. actually, the last time i did anything really formal for school, my parents were there. and now i'm all grown up and do it by myself! haha so yea. i got there and got my shit. listened to the boring speeches. looked around for potential friends to make. realized that most kids were culinary or graphic design. won't be seeing much of the culinary kids unless i eat at the bistro or something. as for graphic design. the first couple of quarters i'll be taking art classes with them possibly. so that could be fun. some interaction. cuz i got a glimpse of my webmates and they seem...interesting. eclectic group we've got going. over half are boys. some are geeky. some are hardcore. some of the girls are hardcore. and some are girly. it's sorta strange. whatever. half of them i will always be one step ahead of so i really won't see many of them. and i won't graduate with them either. so whatever. a lot of the kids at AI are either like fresh out of high school or like me. transfers, college grads, working people, etc. a few somewhat attractive boys. one boy was like....omg. he was tall and skinny. scenester type. crappy haircut that he thinks is cool. really enlarged lobes. AND...and this is a big and...a BRIGHT NEON GREEN....fannypack!!! yes sir. i'm sure he sported that with pride thinking that shit looked so hot. so cool. oh boy. josh told me i should have hit him just for the fannypack. haha seriously, that shit was ugly. and i could tell by the way he acted and the guy he was with, that he totally thought he was the shit. haha whatever. i might see him at bang! one day. he looks the type. anyway, i'm excited to start school. i got my supply kit and now am the proud owner of like 4 various sketchpads in all shapes and sizes. i've got those like really fucking large ones. i wonder if we have to carry those to class. i guess it doesn't matter cuz i am now a commuter and drive there. so i'll just park and take it out of my car. then put it back in my car when i'm done. not a lot of tackling with the thing. no walking to class and shit. this "campus" only has two buildings. so yea. anyway, excitement! here is my lovely schedule:

i actually got some sleep! but not enough. ugh! the one night i can sleep i have to wake up for orientation. we got back at 4ish. i slept at like 5ish which isn't too shabby at this point. but then i had to wake up at like 11am. so that's only 6 hours. boo. i might take a power nap now tho. we'll see. orientation isn't til like 2pm!

seeing lost in translation actually made me feel a bit lonely. but then i went to shaun's party with lo and brian and it was fun with friends. so that was nice. low-key. then we came back and got jessica and rick to come with us to IHOP. that was fun. then we came back and had a chat. always fun. i can't sleep so it was nice to have some company for a bit. of course now i am alone. same ole same ole. i hate being single. just for the fact of having to sleep alone. come home alone and go to bed alone. that sort of stuff. it's sad really. brian called me up tonight and said we had to go out so we could try and meet people again. haha but we didn't really meet anyone. oh well. i love brian. he's so great. he said i was lovably weird. haha i still think i'm just plain weird. that's why no one wants to date me. who knows. it sucks either way i suppose. i don't want to be normal cuz that's boring, but if you're too weird, then no one likes u. i think i crossed over that grey area. boo. maybe i'll find someone tomorrow? doubtful. u can't look in order to find it seems. but i'm not sure what else to do. i definitely don't expect a boy to just fall in my lap. that kinda shit doesn't happen to me. anyway, i'm rambling. not even sure what i'm talking about cuz i'm doing other shit at the same time so this post is taking too long. blah. must try and sleep. orientation in 10 hours!

wow. i just went to see lost in translation and i REALLY liked it a lot. it was really, really good. a simple movie about being lost and alone in a foreign place. finding out who you. moments that are great moments but can't and don't last forever. i can't say that i've been in that specific situation but i can relate to the idea of being in a foreign place and feeling so alone and wishing i could find that certain person at 4am to do something with. to just hang out. and then leaving that place and feeling sad because it's over. but if it never ended it really wouldn't be quite the same anyway. yeah. i really liked that movie. i liked the way the ending made me feel even though it was sad. this might be one for the dvd collection! haha it's got some funny bits too which are cool. and of course i love tokyo anyway so that was neat to see it after i had just been there not that long ago. anyway, if you haven't seen it, SEE IT. =)

and here is roger ebert's review of the movie. he is like the only film critic who's opinion i even half pay attention to. and whenever i really like a movie i tend to check out his review to see how much we agree. and we do on this one. it's quite good. and he even mentions before sunrise which makes the review THAT much better!

i'm just sorta futzing around trying to make myself tired to sleep. i was chatting with josh and i decided to look thru all the band photos and whatnot i have of him and the boys. i have a lot from daniel back when we used to chat a lot online. ah those were the days. now we hardly chat. daniel is always so busy and he's really always so down and negative. josh tells me he's getting better. which is good. i remember when we used to hang out. he was always negative yea. he's not an ideal mate either. haha but he's really rather adorable when he's drumming. until he finishes the set. he always storms offstage first like he's pissed. haha oh daniel. if not for him i wouldn't know josh or the rest of them.

you know what i hate? when people don't reply to your email fully. like you write to them. say lots of stuff. ask questions and then they might write back a long email, but half of it doesn't even address the things you said!!! i HATE that! and if you ask a question and they don't answer. i hate that even more. cuz then u don't know if u should ask again cuz they forgot to answer or if they are just avoiding you all together. gah! i didn't get an email like the recently per se, but i was thinking about all the times it's happened and all the times more it will happen, and it just bugs me!

on another note. i had dinner with josh and it was lovely. i gave him my gifts from asia for him and his roommates. i knew he would appreciate the chinese chop i got him cuz he's way into asian culture and stuff. just look at his tattoos! haha no. he reads a lot about it to. and he's into buddhism and stuff. so i knew he would appreciate looking at all my asia photos too. he was actually like geniunely interested in them and knowing what they were and asking me intelligent questions. that's what i like about josh. he's actually smart. and a good conversationalist. surely he goofs around a lot and has his share of women and such. and i'm all attracted to him and whatnot. but what it boils down to is he's a good person to be around. u can talk about lots of different things with him and never be bored. and i respect him for who he is. someone who didn't finish college but actually has real thoughts and is intelligent. not just some goof off boy in a band that may never make it. so as always, good times with josh.

this toy is so fucking rad. (click the photo to get the japanese website if u want.) i'm not entirely sure the name of it or how it works, but i saw it in two toy stores in tokyo and have been meaning to look up the site to show people. basically it's this miniature living room. maybe like 1 sq. ft. in size. i can't quite recall. it's small tho. and it has all the stuff u see inside. all the little props. BUT...the tv actually works. cuz in the back it has plugs so that u can connect it to something that receives a signal. like your vcr or something. like i said, i'm not really sure how it works. but the tv gets reception. i saw it working at the store. it's just so rad. it's for people who have extra cash and don't know what to do with it. cuz really, it's useless. the tv is like tiny tiny tiny. but it would look cool on your desk at work if you had an office or something. anyway, it costs 19,800 yen which is about $190. so it's not THAT expensive. it's just useless. but it's fucking rad and i thought the western world should see it. =)

interpol was rad. i hate going to places alone but i had a good time. i had some characters around me too. but i suppose we are all characters really. it's just how we are perceived. i got to the show in time for the second band -- enon. at first i liked them but then towards the end i wasn't so keen. so i'm not sure how i feel. they had a girl singer half the time and a guy the other half. i actually liked it when the girl sang. normally i don't cuz i don't care too much for female vocals in gneral, but she was good. anyway, then btwn them and interpol i sorta stood around. scanned the room. i couldn't help but feel like half the people were probably on friendster. it's just mindboggling really. haha once interpol began we all sorta took our positions. i positioned myself around the following characters:

first there was the older man to my right. alone. nice fella. we exchanged a few words. only by his doing. cuz i'm too lame to speak to people at shows, bars, clubs, etc. haha he was tall so he was looking out for me. making sure i could see.

then guy behind him seemed to be alone as well. he seemed a bit off. he was short. scruffy. wearing combat camoflauge pants with chuck taylors. which reminds me. of all the folks around me with chucks (about half of them), mine were the dirtiest!! i have really let my chucks go to shit. dirty and ripped. oh well. adds character. anyway, this short guy had ALL these earrings but none of them were particularly large guage. so i felt it looked odd on this tough looking guy. and he wore earplugs which wasn't really necessary cuz interpol isn't that loud.

anyway, the guy behind me was this heavy breather. i could feel his breath on my arms all the time. he turned out to be this skinny boy with longish hair. sorta feminine features. he wasn't behind me the whole time which was good cuz i wasn't a fan of the breath hitting my arms.

the guy to the left of me was with some other guy. they were like REALLY into the music. so much so that the guy closest to me was sorta actually hitting me with his flailing arms! but i didn't mind cuz it was nice to see someone so into it. altho interpol isn't THAT energetic. so he was a bit more into it than the band even. oh well. haha

the guy that was a smidge more in front of me earlier on looked like he wanted to be chris carrabba from dashboard. he had the hair and everything. it was comical and i was always looking for him to turn around so i could see his face. but once interpol came on, he wasn't in front of me anymore. the guy that WAS in front of me was this really cute guy. well not, REALLY cute, but cute in a plain way. he was with some guys and they were sorta goofy lookin. so i figured this guy prolly wasn't a pretentious bastard like some of the other guys and gals i saw around. u know, the really done up hair and clothing and whatnot. this guy was just sorta plain. not clean shaven. button down shirt. gray dickies pants with clean chucks. cute. i didn't have the guts to talk to him. sad sad.

the show was good. they played some new stuff that i hadn't heard before. i liked it. their music is unimposing in my opinion. stuff u could easily let sit in the background cuz it's sorta monotone. but i like it. and i had a good time. they did one encore. 2 songs. one b-side and "PDA" which was for certain cuz they didn't play it during the regular set. the rush to leave the place was of course massive and i saw one guy from SC that i recognized. i'm sure there were more but i wasn't looking too hard. i was trying to just get out.

today was a decent day overall. despite my waking up early in the morn. i got shit done. not everything, but a good portion of my shit. i got my fotos from asia which turned out alright. i haven't looked in detail. i'm having dinner with josh tomorrow to show him my photos. i went to the art institute and got my class switched and took care of my administrative crap. got my ID. i only have class tues, wed, thurs. 5 classes. so i always have LONG weekends. rock! and i think that means i'll go home next weekend. i found out eric and crew are having a party this weekend but i can't go cuz i have my orientation. boo hoo. or else i'd be there! gah. eric. the current bane of my existence. haha

anyway, so that's that. got more shit to do tomorrow. i hope i can sleep thru the night. contemplating some cold medicine to help me out. get me back on track. we'll see.

the drinks got me to sleep but they didn't hold it. i woke up over an hour ago and i can't for the life of me get the fuck back to sleep! ugh. i'm doomed. whatever. i have to wake up at a reasonable hour today cuz i have shit to do. and fuck, i'm going to see interpol and i can't even fathom that. watch me forget. i don't have a partner in crime so i can see myself showing up really late and parking buttass far away from the venue just so i don't have to stand alone for so long. boo fuckin hoo. deal with it jen. and AIM. i'm sick of clicking on ppl's names and chatting with them. if they want to chat they can message me. cuz obviously they don't want to chat really. i had to click on their name. i've run into this recently. clicking and getting half ass conversations. i don't have time for that shit. maybe i'm just bitter right now cuz i can't sleep. i dunno. and boys. god fucking hell. i think i'll regress back into the idea that i'm not attractive enough and too blunt. i guess people don't like to hear the truth. fuck that. whatever. everyone around me seems to not be single. i know this isn't true but it seems that way. especially with two of my good friends coming up on 1 yr anniversaries. bah humbug. i think it's the lack of sleep talking. i'm not sure. i'll let u know when i wake up...for the second fucking time!!!

drinking. eating. chatting. all with emily at midnight on a tuesday night. good times. and now i think i can finally sleep!! at least i hope. cross your fingers for me. =)