alex is gone. off to SF/berkeley for the day/night. he will return tomorrow night. he's there to visit berkeley's open house even though he's currently wait-listed. i am home alone waiting to head out to the redwood bar to see josh's band and wish him an early happy birthday.
i have this really weird way about me where i get really (overly) sad and lonely when i am alone and know that no one is going to come home. like there were countless times where when i lived with the guys i would be home alone. but the prospect of someone coming home kept me from getting sad. i just thought, ok yea i'm alone. but maybe one of them is coming home. who knows. but once christmas-time rolled around (or whatever) and everyone started leaving and i was the last man standing, then i'd get really sad. like even know it's really no different than when i'm home alone thinking maybe someone will come home and then no one does. there is truly no difference yet in my mind it's different and my mind/heart/brain react differently. so same with right now. alex is gone. he'll be back tomorrow. sure, it's a bit different than living with the guys cuz we always come home to each other every night. if we don't...well then there are problems. haha but we always do. so if he's not here one night my mind kicks into that sad/lonely mode. it's just one night. and i'm not truly sad or lonely. but i get this weird feeling inside me. inside my chest. and i remember the first time i felt this way. it was with my parents after our hawaii trip. we were in the airport. alone. the 3 of us. and no prospect of seeing anyone we knew. i had just left a bunch of cool people i met on the cruise and so now i was lonely. even though i was with my parents i was lonely. this was the first time i felt this way and it like kickstarted some emotion inside of me.
don't get me wrong here. i'm totally fine. but like last night alex went to see prince and he came home super super late since the show itself started after midnight. so i was up late doing shit and all was totally cool. cuz i knew he was coming home. but tonight i know he's not coming home. so i feel that sadness inside. it's really really bizarre. anyway, i had to share that.
i'm trying to finish this damned package project. i've totally lost steam and emotion for it. the first project went so well. i was soooo gungho. and now this one i'm so flat. i think it's a combo of a few things. 1) the first project we had more time. 2) the first project i did in "my" swiss modern clean style and this one is the total opposite. 3) this project is coming in the midst of job turmoil and all i can think about is how much i want to just get started on my own portfolio site. 4) doing a design that is totally the opposite of your natural aesthetic is really quite hard. i did this on purpose to challenge myself but i think i don't need such a challenge right now. but i can't give up. i won't give up. i just want it to end.
the weekend seems to have flown by somehow. friday was shaun's goodbye party. quite sad really. i'll miss that boy. we've drifted a bit in recent times but shaun and i used to be good buddies. i've known him for nearly 10 years. so it's really sad to see him go. but i think he's gonna love NYC. and i'm gonna love visiting him. so i'm not that sad. same with dan. he loves portland and i'll love visiting him. so it's all good i guess. sigh. i want to move to NYC. but it's just not in the cards right now. not til alex gets through grad school. and then who knows what.
so this has been happening for awhile but i feel suddenly compelled to write about it. the person who lives upstairs makes a lot of noise. well, noise isn't the right word. vibration? movement? basically it sounds like a really fat person is walking around really hard up there. so it's like this thud thud thud sound. it happens all throughout the day to varying degrees of annoyance. tonight it was really loud so i called downstairs to the concierge and had them go up and talk to the person. i swear i could hear the person stomping to the door to answer it. anyway, i speculate it's a really heavy person who has no idea that they are "stomping" because they are just walking normally. but to us it's like a goddamn mini earthquake. haha we shall see if it stops.
i've fallen off the wagon. the work wagon. and this is not the time. i need to get back into my beverage project. i've decided to do a vodka line. i think i'll just need to design labels and hangtags and such. no physical building of the product. that's good. the last project was very hellish. so many pouches. boxes. spouts!! ahhh!!! so much. too much. this should be easier. i hope. i mean it's more about a clean product. i just need to motivate to get working. i finished rebuilding my boxes for the UPGRADE project and once alex gets back i'm going to take some makeshift photos to submit to this website for their book. i don't know if i'll get selected. i probably won't. but i'll try. i also want to submit my work to adobe for their competition but the deadline for that is in june. so i've got a lot of time.
i need to get working on a redesign of my site and my physical portfolio. i can't help but think that the end of me being employed is near. i don't know. it's hard to say. but if we don't get new work at work then i'm fucked. in terms of designers i'm not the lowest on the rung. there are new hires after me but they do different things than i do. so if they decide to cut another designer it will be me. sucks huh? what can ya do? they like me. they liked the 3 they cut. but times are tough. even if i have a new portfolio it might not even matter. there aren't a lot of jobs out there but there sure are a lot of unemployeds. gah! anyway, just have to hope for the best and expect the worst.
ok alex is home! time to get to work.
bah. 3 people got laid off at work today and 1 got their hours cut. considering our office was 24 and now it's 20.5, it's kind of a big deal. ugh this sucks. i am fine...for now. i'm always worried. but god this sucks. especially since the people who got cut all have kids. one has 2 really young kids and i swear his wife doesn't work either. UGH! i feel so bad. the air in the office was really thick. this all comes due to one of our big clients pulling out on two big projects which normally we'd have gotten but they are just doing it in house because their budgets are being cut. ugh! it's happening everywhere. so sad. i should revise my website and portfolio just in case.
gotta get back to work on finishing my process book but i snapped some real quick crappy shots of my all my packaging. looks really good from afar. and pretty damn good up close. some road bumps to sort out later but this is good enough for what we need to present tomorrow. i'm happy. tired as all fucking hell, but happy.
TOP PHOTO:
entire product line.
at the top left we have a fake bathroom tiled wall with the shower suction strip and pouches attached. the pouches are designed with baggage tags in mind. they have snaps on the back and snap onto the strip. then you squeeze from the bottom while in the shower. attached to the strip is [SHP] shampoo, [CON] conditioner, [FWS] face wash, [BWS] bath wash, [SVC] shave cream.
below the shower tiling is the counter display where the other products snap onto for the sink counter. on there we have [FLN] face lotion, [BLN] body lotion] and [TPS] toothpaste.
next to that we have boxed packaging for the replacement [CTD] counter display and [SSS] shower suction strip.
in front of that we have [DOR] deoderant and [TBR] toothbrush.
in front of that we have the pouch inside it's packaging meant to look like a boarding pass (see to the right) where you tear the perforation to open the package. you can see the blue FLN pouch sitting in the pouch that is open and then it flipped over to show the snap on the back. also you can see the yellow BLN opened package from the front side.
next to that are various other products and behind that is the [STK] starter kit which comes with the white box (with snaps) that you see to carry all your toiletries while you travel.
not pictured is the ziplock bag.
MIDDLE PHOTO:
close up of the pouch "boarding pass" packaging
BOTTOM PHOTO:
close up (slightly blurry, crappy quick photo) of a pouch inside the opened packaging and the backside of the pouch to show the snap.
ah the weekends go too quickly. i am so close to being done with this project that i can taste it! except i still have random shit to do so really i'm not done. bah!! but i made a fake bathroom tiled wall today and it looks cool. so that's a happy thing. and i finished all the pouches. some have imperfections but fuck it. i will fix that in photoshop once i shoot the photos. i am doing extra boxes now. i don't need to but i want to. i think i'll post some photos tomorrow. nothing pro looking but at least it will give an idea to everyone of what i have been slaving over for weeks.
anyhoo, last night was M83 at the disney concert hall and everyone and their mother was there. i won't get into it but a bunch of former and current AA people were there. and then a bunch of dance party. it was good times. the show itself was a mixed bag. as with all disney concert hall shows, i always tend to have moments where i nearly fall asleep. i think it's the fact that the lights are low, i'm sitting down, and the music is usually very slow and melodic. so i nod off for brief moments. last night was no exception. the first part of the show was just M83 doing very long, chilled out music. mostly stuff i didn't recognize. i felt like i should have been on drugs to really appreciate it. the second and third parts were the philharmonic alone. and the final part was M83 with the philharmonic. that was a bit more upbeat and more exciting. nevertheless i wished they would have played "save us from the flames" "run into the flowers" and "kim & jessie." oh well. i don't regret going but i wished they had pushed it more. like maybe the entire should could have been M83 and the LA phil together. oh well. after the show we metro'd it up to hollywood to go to cynthia's for massive amounts of cupcakes. (yes we took the metro!) so many good sweets. such little time to consume them all.
exhaustion set in and i took a really long nap when i got home. kind of ruined the night but whatever. i was so fucking tired!!! i have a lot of shit to do this weekend. i'm slightly stressed about it but we'll just see how it goes. M83 @ the disney hall tomorrow night should be really good. i'm excited about that.
an update on the black vs white comp situation. steven doesn't want to show the black comp. he likes it but thinks it's not right for the client. YES! thank god we have some sensibility here. oh thank god. however with the good comes the bad because i was sitting at my desk and the following situation occurred:
steven: hey jen. are you busy? working on a downtime project for paula?
me: yes but i am kind of stuck now and she's not around to tell me what to do next.
steven: ok well i have a project for you. it's kind of for paula as well so i'm sure she won't mind if i pull you. come to my office.
me: ok.
i paused to gather my things while steven walked off.
bill [jokingly]: don't go. don't do it. this is how you get roped into things!
me [laughing]: oh well. i mean i have nothing to do!
bill [jokingly]: it's going to be a powerpoint...
me [already walking towards the office laughing]: hahaha don't even say that.
diana [walking towards me]: are you walking towards me or am i walking towards you?
me [confused]: umm... well... i don't know.
diana: oh. umm are you going to steven's office to talk about the powerpoint?
at this point i literally STOPPED moving and GASPED out loud. diana looked utterly confused (she's new and has NO idea how much i LOATHE powerpoint). i looked at the floor (where all the designers and programmers sit and work) and literally everyone was looking at me.
me: ahhhh.... are you serious?
diana: yea. ummm...
me: for real? really? powerpoint?
diana: yea. why what's wrong?
me: i'm not walking back there. everyone is looking at me because they know how much i HATE powerpoint.
bill: haha oh man i was just kidding...
jason: hahahaha
andrew: [silent stares of i'm sorry]
me: [sighing]
oh man it was downright hilariously sad. it was such a perfectly imperfect moment. perhaps the one i will remember the most at this company.
i'm kind of too tired to rant properly but can i just say how much it angers me to see the black comp beating out the white comp? always always always people pick the black comp because i think inherently people are afraid of white space and think if they get a website with a lot of white it looks unfinished. bare. boring. fuck that. untrue. just because the site is black doesn't mean it's more finished. in fact i think white sites have to put in more work to look refined since there is so much white space. sigh. i'm sick of making white comps them not getting chosen. i'm working on this simple site for this woman now. a personal site but she's a corporate woman. a bit conservative apparently. so i made 1 black comp and 2 white ones. i want the white to win. it should win since it's more appropriate. but watch them pick the black one just because it's black. i swear if they do i'll scream. i only made a black cuz i needed some contrast in my comps. ugh. i will update when i learn which one they choose.
the week is just flying by! last night i had class. the last one before we present our projects. i think i am in the best shape out of everyone. not to toot my own horn or anything but i've done the most work. everyone else has more to do than me. though i want to make mine stellar good so i am going to bust even more out. i think my stuff looks good. it's definitely not perfect but it's good. i brought it into work and jason said overall looks good. gave me some tips on how to push it to perfection. sand shit down. etc. i am so sick of it though. i want it to be DONE. it's been so laborious. damn. but i love it. i have decided to set a goal for myself. every month starting in may, i'm going to pick an industry and make a package for it. one month, one package (or a few depending on what the product/industry is). i'll try and use different materials as well. i want to really just get knee deep into this package stuff. i love it so much. it's very time consuming but i love it. i won't pick something that requires SUCH intense research. that's what really got me. all these crazy materials that are hard to work with and reproduce. i will keep it more basic. well, not basic. just easier to source materials. anyway, that's the goal. people reading this, help me stick to it. ask me how my packaging is going. keep me on my toes. actually, i forgot i want to redesign my website. ok so maybe this idea will start in june because redesigning my site will take a bit of time. regardless, i want to keep up with this beyond the class.
anyway, at work today, two of my coworkers took a meeting with deanu! he works at lions gate and they had already set up a mtg with him. i had nothing to do with it. but once i found out i emailed him. i hope we can work together. that would be rad. they have some cool movies. would be awesome to do web stuff for them. we shall see. they said the mtg went well but who knows.
this weekend a bunch of us are going to see M83 at the walt disney concert hall. totally stoked about that. i love the disney hall. any decent reason i can find to go there i do. i mean i don't even love M83. but i like them enough to make it a reason to go. anyhoo, that should be good times. alex's parents are coming to LA in a few weeks as well. that will mean some good dining. and on the parental note, alex and i are flying out to DC at the end of june (note, we will be back in time for the 4th of july which we have spent in philly the past 2 years and thusly missed jessica's birthday) to celebrate alex's mom's 60th birthday. we celebrated his dad's over the inaug trip and now we shall celebrate his mom's in DC since his sister will be living there for the summer and i'd rather visit DC and see the stuff i didn't get to see when i was there in january versus go to philly yet again. we still have to buy our tickets (i think his parents are buying them, i mean, i hope, cuz this wasn't even MY idea!) and i'm gunning for another virgin flight. we shall see how the price points land.
finally, before i get back to making more pouches, i want to shout out (yea umm i never say that phrase...) to kyla. i'm here for you. whatever you need. i love you.
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